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Yearly Archives: 2014

Episode #88: Chimp Christmas!

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Featuring:  Dr. P, Booze, Belasco

Producer: Booze, Dr. P 

Merry Christmas, my honkies!

Spend a festive hour in the company of Professor Chuck Turtleman and friends in this very special Christmas edition of the SFJ podcast.

You’ll meet a man whose Yuletide will now not be so gay, thanks to Baby Jesus, find out if Hip Hop album titles are the reason for the Chinese Chinapun ban, and shed a Christmas tear at the passing of a 2-headed mutated Kittard freak.

We ask a Horrible Holiday Hypothetical,  find out what crappy film Belasco will be watching this Christmas, and visit a very lonely Idiot of Facebook who’s using his dead parents to try to get laid. Bless.

Booze takes us through the British Christmas television schedules in our brand new game TV Show or TV No, and Chuck Turtleman avoids flying reindeer as he takes to the snowy skies for an all-Xmas News Round.

There are lots and lots of elves (well… dwarves) and, if you listen carefully, you’ll hear Chuck’s adenoidal dog sawing logs in the background. Yule logs, of course.

This is going to be the best Christmas ever!

 

 

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Episode #87: Little Caesar – a Chuck T Joint

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Featuring:  Dr. P, Booze, Belasco

Producer: Dr. P 

Due to holiday scheduling conflicts, in order to get a podcast out, the fellas had to turn the reigns over  to Chuck Turtleman (formerly known as Dr. P) to write, direct, and edit this action-packed episode. He starts the show off with the hot new game, “Professor Chuck Turtleman’s Guns and Animals Quiz,” but you’ll have to listen, we won’t tell you what it was about.

From there, we meet a brand new Idiot of Facebook that will make you want to open your hearts and wallets. Or at least passive-aggressively suggest you do. We also catch up on our Prison Pen Pals, familiarize ourselves with the slang of today’s youth, and learn there is indeed more than one way to skin a rabbit.

And it wouldn’t be a News Round without a visit from Mr. Dong and Mr. Chin. So put us in your earholes and come visit us for a while…

and bring some seafood.

 

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Episode #86: Mr. Dong Meets Mr. Chin

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Featuring:  Dr. P, Booze, Belasco

Producer: Booze, Dr. P 

Ni hao, my honkies!

It’s a Chinapeople extravaganza this week as we see what cheese-loving Naughty Leader Kim Jong-Il Jr. has been up to, infiltrate an oriental graverobbing bicyclist ring and introduce Mr. Dong to Mr. Chin. If you’ll pardon the expression.

Changing the subject completely, Booze shows us Belgium’s most disappointing penis, somebody called “Chuck Turtleman” steals Dr. P’s News ‘Copter, and Belasco tells a very, very funny joke.

In SFJ’s Penitentiary Pen Pals, our ovaried offenders include a helpful “youth worker” and a nice young lady who could show Kim Kardashian a thing or two about beverage balancing.

Last, but definitely not least, we catch up with our favorite social media simpleton in a special-length Idiots of Facebook that may or may not end with a beautiful romantic duet.

So take your loved one in your arms, gaze deep into their eyes and… stick it in their ear.

xoxo

 

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Episode #85: Ouija – The Podcast

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Featuring:  Dr. P, Booze, Belasco

Producer: Booze, Dr. P 

As friends we’ve gathered, hearts are true, spirits near… we call to you.

Is there anybody there?

Oh, there you are. Happy Halloween!

Following the runaway success of our Battleship episode, we thought we’d try another board game based crappy movie tie-in. Ouija… The Podcast.

Join us as we attempt to contact the dead before your very ears. You won’t BELIEVE what happens.*

Is there anything more horrific than a toddler? Yes. 3 toddlers. Dr. P brings us a tale of terror that will make you think that Freddie Kreuger might have had the right idea about childcare.

Booze proves beyond any doubt that there’s life after death with the aid of a butterfly and a man called Don, Belasco reads a comic book called Sex Heroes or something and we meet some more lovely locked up ladies in SFJ’s Penitentiary Pen Pals.

Then, in a very special Halloween News Round, we meet a woman with a dead Nan and a haircut from 1983, find out why ‘Lil Bub won’t be going to Tanzania anytime soon and ask whether dead babies can ever be funny.

As it turns out, the answer is no. But we left that bit in anyway.

So turn out the lights, stick us in your ear and remember…

Even a man** who’s pure in heart, and says his prayers by night
may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
and the autumn moon is bright.
My honkies.

*you will believe what happens.

**or lady.

 

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Episode #84: Chimpanzees in Dungarees

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Featuring:  Dr. P, Booze, Belasco

Producer: Booze, Dr. P 

And… we’re back!

After 83 episodes of Season 1, welcome to Season 2 of the Sweet Feathery Jesus! Podcast.

We’re still committed to bringing you the finest monkey-based, Chinaland-centric podcast on the internet, but we’ve added loads of new stuff just to annoy people who don’t like change.

In Penitentiary Pen Pals, a listener shows us a website where we can meet lonely, open minded, non-judgemental ladies. Who just happen to be in prison for serious crimes.

Dr P meets an old flame with a new baby in Horrible Hypothetical, and Booze tells us why he thinks Belgium is shit in his new feature called… “Belgium Is Shit”.

Then we add Linda Ronstadt’s knickers to the long list of things we’re slightly obsessed about, and Belasco reads some comic books.

So stick it back in your ear, my honkies. Thanks for listening!

 

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SFJ Special: Dr. P’s Idiots of Facebook Summer Edition

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Featuring:  Beardo, Gravy, Dr. P, Booze, Belasco
Producer: Dr. P 

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 Join us on episode #5 of Dr. P’s Summer News round, as we skip the news altogether and talk instead about the Idiots of Facebook. We have a record four guests on the show tonight, as we reach out across the Pacific and Atlantic to hold hands, and have a friendly reach-around.

First we catch up with a distraught Duct Tape Lisa, and discuss the probability that she is poisoning her daughter -like that lady on the 6th Sense. Then we move on to the big guy with an even bigger place in or hearts: Friend Zone Frank. Frank hasn’t unblocked us yet, but we get some of the people behind the magic; his best friend “G” and his main antagonist, Beardo to spin tales of lore regarding our Rascal battery-draining friend from Boston.

Finally, we introduce you to the newest Idiot ™ on the block, Krystal Keith, a man much like Frank, but 250 pounds lighter and on crystal meth. His love of woodcraft is only surpassed by his love for sending dick pics. So fire up the barbie and put us in your earholes, my honkies!

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