The Sav

So... What a fuckin' day I had today!

Life was good. Good day at work, no traffic, sunny outside, got to see my daughter ride her bike w/o training wheels for the first time, kicking it outside with the neighbors... Then the unthinkable happens.

My middle child (the one with autism) was riding around on his scooter outside with all of us one minute, then he was gone the next. He doesn't talk much, so he don't tell us where he's going or what he's doing. He just thinks ...

Sometimes when I'm out and about, I just like to fuck with random people for no reason at all. I don't know why either, I just do.

I never go too far with it though. I do a lot of stupid little things that people probably don't even think twice about. But for me, it's comedy gold.

One time right before me and my wife got married, we walked into a McDoogals and I pretended to be deaf. I even talked like a deaf person when I placed my order. The order taker ...

In case anyone has forgotten...

1. Phil Hendrie is a piece of shit
2. Miley Cyrus is an ugly hooker
3. Dogbert's version of getting to 3rd base is him bumping his knees into a female while he squeezes his way into the middle of a pew
4. I was still a virgin the last time Dr. P was sober (1988)
5. Spooner's idea of heaven is playing MW2 or Nazi Zombies with me and Melon for eternity
6. Booze thought that restroom urinals were masturbation stations ...

In memory of George Steinbrenner, I would like to dedicate my 11th Savblog to him by discussing this topic:

Eerie similarities between me and Seinfeld character George Costanza.

btw, this list is not a goofy parody or an exaggeration... This is fact, damnit!
1. We're both short stocky men. He's 5'4" and I'm 5'7"
2. Anger management.
3. We both have held several jobs.
4. We both wanted to be architects.
5. I also had a good ...

With this being 4th of July weekend, or as Booze knows it, paid vacation day number 107 of 251, I would like to dedicate this TENTH Sav blog to America by listing off the top 10 reasons why America rules and will always be #1!

1. We will never win the World Cup of Sucker because Football is better than Futbol.
2. We nuked another country... twice!
3. We have more guns per person than anyone and we use them... Hells yeah!
4. Our economy is shit and we're still ...