Nfl '10

[Dr. P]

A new season of excitement and glory starts today. Who do ya like? Who do you think will struggle? Who will Ben rape? So many questions will be answered between now and February. Predict and discuss here.

[Booze]

I'm hoping there are a lot more ties this year.

[Dr. P]

I'm looking to go 4-0 in my bets this weej. It'll be all I can do not to put 1/2 my winnings on the Redskins +4 tonight.

[melon]

Loins got screwed!

[Heap]

I'm looking to go 4-0 in my bets this weej. It'll be all I can do not to put 1/2 my winnings on the Redskins +4 tonight.

Did you put any ching on the 'Skins? If it weren't for WVU fucking up my bankroll, I'd have been rollin in the $5 bills with Oklahomo and 'Bama. I probably would've taken the Over in this one, good thing I didn't.

[Dr. P]

I put a hundred on them +4. I hit on NYG, New England, Seattle, and the under in the GB/Philly game at $50 each. I never mop up when I bet over a hundred, I swear if I'd have gone heavy, some of those would have lost. Hopefully my 'foreskins can hang on.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Minnesota fans have gotta be shitting their collective pants right now. Losing the season opener against the defending champion Saints in one thing. But they're down 14 points against Miami. 0-2 is not where they want to be.

*EDIT* Peterson just TD'd. Miami's defense is playing them pretty tough though. I'd be suprised if the Vikings win this game.

[robbrevere]

Minnesota fans have gotta be shitting their collective pants right now. Losing the season opener against the defending champion Saints in one thing. But they're down 14 points against Miami. 0-2 is not where they want to be.

*EDIT* Peterson just TD'd. Miami's defense is playing them pretty tough though. I'd be suprised if the Vikings win this game.

How about Tampa is 2-0. haha we won 3 games last year. And what about cowboys fans? holy smokes?

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Things are already looking pretty interesting and it's only week 2.

[melon]

Fuckin' shitdick Texans.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

They've got to be the most inconsistant team in the NFL over the last 6 or 7 years... One week, they'll pull off an upset against a superior team and the next week, they'll choke to a team they should have easily beaten. They looked amazing against the Colts last week. If they could play like THAT against a team like the Colts, they should be steamrolling almost any other team in the league- you'd think. This is why they always end up 8-8 or 9-7.

Another team I can't figure out, is the Cards... Are they a good team or are they shit? You never know what to expect from week to week with that squad. They're the Texans of the NFC.

[Dr. P]

Brent Farve looks like shit this season. Well, since the second half of game one. And the Panthers are gonna stink. And San Diego is playing like they're pissed at losing to Coach's Chiefs. You don't often see an NFL team up 4 touchdowns going deep.

[Verno]

Watching that Vikings game, it really didn't seem like Burt gave two shits. He was missing that Burt Favre schoolgirl passion. I am loving every minute of his demise.

Mark Sanchez is starting to actually play like an NFL quarterback.

[Dr. P]

Sanchez looks great! Redskins and Texans are in OT. C'mon offensively named black people!

[Dr. P]

Fuck!

[melon]

They're still shitdicks.

[Verno]

Just like everyone predicted: Cowboys 0-2, Vikings 0-2, Bears 2-0, Chiefs 2-0, Bucs 2-0.

[melon]

I don't think anyone predicted that.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Hey Mel, turn off your sarcasm filter.

[Taco Teo]

Watching that Vikings game, it really didn't seem like Burt gave two shits. He was missing that Burt Favre schoolgirl passion. I am loving every minute of his demise.
:up:

[Heap]

How many game winning field goals does that put Khris Brown at? Dude's gotta be in the Texans HOF by now, for sure.

[melon]

Not enough or he would have a job.

[TheWagesofSin]

The Philadelphia Eagles will win the SB this year with Vick as their starting QB, igniting controversy that will blow your wig off.


Write it down.

[Dr. P]

I hope he dies in a car fire.

[Verno]

I love that they run their 33-year old, top 10 rated, stays out of trouble, fleet-footed black quarterback out of town and upgrade to a 31-year old, not top 10 rated, trouble making, fleet-footed black quarterback. Morans.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Yeah, but who represents Philly better... Choice A or Choice B? Because when I think of Philly, the last thing that comes to mind is "law abiding citizen".

[Heap]

Exactly!

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Jesus! The Saints might lose to Atlanta. I know the Falcons aren't a horrible team, but I didn't think they'd have a chance of beating the Saints.

[Dr. P]

The Ed said they were going to the Super Bowl and losing to the Colts.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

I predict that the Ed will eat a bucket full of KFC Original recipe sometime before 2011.

[Spooner]

Ooops. Wrong t'read.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

I wonder if he makes his various sports predictions based on where his cumshots land on the L'il Kim poster pinned to his ceiling.

[Verno]

Kansas City beat the ever-loving shit out of San Francisco. Now that we've seen that San Diego are posers and Oakland and Denver aren't reminding us of the second coming of Elway/Gannon teams, can KC win that shit division?

[Dr. P]

I think the Chargers will win a lot of games. 2 hundred yard kickoff returns for td's ain't something you can account for. I watched the last quarter of that game, SD moved the ball at will, and even after two key interceptions and and a two freak kick returns and they still almost won.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Oakland "almost" won a lot of games last year but a 5-11 record is what people see in the record books, so "almost" doesn't mean shit. San Diego will go 9-7 this year if they're lucky. They had no control in that game at all. When they did have momentum, they'd eventually fuck it up or lose it with bad plays or mental mistakes. That's not a winning formula if you ask me.

[Dr. P]

Oh, kiss my ass. You know what I'm sayin'. I don't think they'll trip over their own shoelaces every weej. And that KR for Seattle was a little badass, neither return was complete bad coverage.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Have you been drinking again?

Signed, TBL

[Taco Teo]

Great job with those penalties Packers. Jesus.

[Verno]

It's funny, because in the stage version of BenJarvus Green-Ellis, there was no Alec Baldwin character. - @VeryFakeAlDavis on Twitter

Anyone else waste 3 hours of their life last night watching that shitty Bears-Giants game? Actually the silver lining was watching the Cutler-Face after 9 sacks, which is almost as good as the Manning-Face.

[Heap]

Yeah, that was pretty awful to watch. I'd rather have seen the Giants come closer to imploding, though.

Glad I took the over in the MNF game...just need one more score...

[Heap]

...it might not be too early to think about a Seahawks/Stillers Superbowl rematch...

[Mr. Irrelevant]

STFU Heaps! Just the thought of seeing the Steelers or the Pats in yet another Superbowl, makes me sick to my stomach. I'm just glad both teams are in the AFC, thus making it impossible for both teams to play against each other in said game.

I'm actually disgusted with that Saints game... The Saints were the champs and they're better than how they played today. I think it sucks that Seattle got home field just because they were the best team in the NFL's JV division of teams with losing records. I don't think they should change the rules or anything, I just think it sucks. But at least they didn't tie. Booze would've busted a nut over that shit. lolz.

[Dr. P]

Congrats to Seahawk fans - great coaching, great crowd, played like men, totally undressed the Saints. That Lynch run was an all-timer. Not to take anything away, but Saints going for it on 4th and inches on their own 38 was... well, not something you'd see Belicheck do. And the Jets deserved their win too. I can only hope the games today are as exciting. Wild card playoff games are awesome!

[Verno]

What's impressive was that the Seahawks looked good! This is a nice story, but they'll get waxed on the road without that home field advantage.

[Dr. P]

Especially if they go to Atlanta. I said on Twitter they'll get boat-raced in the dome on that fast track. Of course, I said the same thing about them playing the defending champs. Seattle seems to have an awful lot of white guys. I'm not sure I've ever felt more sure about the result of an NFL game than yesterday; I didn't even turn the game on until I saw it was 17 all.

[Pinch One Off]

Packers/Steelers would be a nice Super Bowl.


Lots of yellow pants.

[Dr. P]

I seriously might not even watch if it's that matchup. All I could root for is injuries.

[Dr. P]

When the games aren't interesting, at least the Fox robot is up to new hijinks.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

I don't like the Jets, but I'm glad they beat the Patriots. And I hope they beat the "Stealers". I don't think either of the NFC teams stand a chance to beat the AFC team in the Superbowl. Quite frankly, all of these teams seem boring and/or lame... Nobody 'cept fer Heaps and Nate want to see Pittsburgh win a 7th title, nobody likes the Jets, Chicago is just not interesting enough, and Aaron Rodgers will ALWAYS be living in Bart Fav-rah's shadow no matter what.

[Dr. P]

Green Bay looks like the team to beat. And as much as I hate Rapelessburger, he's money in the playoffs. So I expect that matchup now that white Patriots is out. Of course, that probably means it'll be Bears/Jets.

[melon]

Packers/Steelers would be a nice Super Bowl.


Lots of yellow pants.

they can make wee and no one will be the wiser.

[melon]

I seriously might not even watch if it's that matchup. All I could root for is injuries.

we are due for a terrorist attack

[Taco Teo]

Don't remind me, Mel. Our agency is doing disaster preparedness training, just in case. UGH.

[melon]

Don't remind me, Mel. Our agency is doing disaster preparedness training, just in case. UGH.

When the aliens invade you'll be glad for the training.

[Taco Teo]

True.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Could there be a worse playoff scenario right now? Well, yes... I guess it could be The Steelers vs. The Patriots in the AFC, and the Cowboys vs. the 49ers for the NFC. But this has got to be the 2nd worse option.

I don't mind the Bears or the Packers too much. I guess my problem with either one of those teams is that I couldn't care less about them one way or the other. And I don't think that either team will beat the winner of the Jets/Steelers game in the SB. I dread the possibility of the "Stealers" winning a 7th title. I will gladly take the Jets over the Steelers despite the fact that I never want to see the Jets in a SB game. That's a sad statement to make when one has to cheer for the team that they hate less.

Heaps and Nate do not endorse the above statement.

[melon]

Did Sanchez just wipe snot on Mark Brunells jacket?

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Yeah, he calls it a Gooey Sanchez

[robbrevere]

♥Taco Teo♥ is happy im sure

[Dr. P]

I bet she'd be happier if the Jets were winning.

[Heap]

If the Steelers beat the Pack in the Superbowl, Teo shows her tits for punishment. If the Packers win, she shows her tits in celebration!

...
I hope I didn't jinx things for Pittsburgh, but a few weeks ago I put in for a vacation day for the day after the SB, hopefully now it'll be worth it.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

The only joy I get out of seeing Ben Rapelisbergel and the Steelers in the SB is that I get to make jokes about Heaps making out with Nate behind a Dewalt display at Home Deeps.

fyi, Hines Ward is a DICK. I'm gonna start MMA fighting, and in 20 years, he's gonna pay.

[Dr. P]

lmao! I always root for the asain in him, though!

[Heap]

Poor Hines Ward. I think his style of play has finally caught up to him. Hopefully he can get a couple more rings before he has to call it quits.

[Dr. P]

For a few more hours Jack Lalane will still be healthier than most Steeler fans.

[Heap]

I get that the guy's dead, but huh?

[Dr. P]

I've seen a lot of XXL Steelers jerseys ... on women.

[Jdiggity Dee]

Jack Lalane would make a heck of a zombie.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

That might be the funniest JD post ever! lmao lmao lmao

[Dr. P]

Definitely his best NFL post!

[Heap]

I can't sleep, this is like Christmas Eve for me. This game later today may be one of the best SB's of all time. At least the matchup calls for one.

Prediction: Ike Taylor will win Superbowl MVP.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

http://toolguyd.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Dewalt-12V-MAX-Cordless-Tool-Display.jpg

[Heap]

Black 'n Gold!

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Hines Ward is a DICK!

10 years ago, my most hated NFL teams was the Cowboys. Then the Patriots moved up to #1. Now it's clearly the Steelers. Is it that I have a hard on for teams that become a championship dynasty? Maybe. But it's not just that... There's just something about those teams that have always pissed me off. The Pats have a poor loser for a coach and douchebags on their defense. The Steelers have rapists, thugs and dirty players... and those gay towels. And the Cowboys represented everything that is wrong with pro football. Other teams that I hate, but have never made it to the top of my hate list include: 49ers, Dolphins, Jets, Broncos, Chargers, and the Falcons.

[Heap]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDj6kywTm50&feature=related

[Heap]

Hines Ward is a DICK!

10 years ago, my most hated NFL teams was the Cowboys. Then the Patriots moved up to #1. Now it's clearly the Steelers. Is it that I have a hard on for teams that become a championship dynasty? Maybe. But it's not just that... There's just something about those teams that have always pissed me off. The Pats have a poor loser for a coach and douchebags on their defense. The Steelers have rapists, thugs and dirty players... and those gay towels. And the Cowboys represented everything that is wrong with pro football. Other teams that I hate, but have never made it to the top of my hate list include: 49ers, Dolphins, Jets, Broncos, Chargers, and the Falcons.

I dunno, Sav. One could make an argument for hating the Packers by association with Favre, and all the media bullshit it resulted in over the last 3 years. The Steelers, however, have quietly become the winningest franchise in NFL history and look to make it even tougher this season. I'm not gonna guarantee a Pittsburgh victory, but this IS the kind of game that the Steelers do not lose (underdogs, media hype, rapist QB, etc).

I've got a hundie on my team outright...I usually NEVER bet on anything Pittsburgh, but something just tells me I've got it this time.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Is it me, or does that Myron Cope dude look like the guy from that cheesy Wishmaster movie from the 90's?

That song was horrible! You're all a bunch of stinky, hairy inbreeding red-necks from Pennsylvania and that song proves it.

I dunno Heaps... I think if Al-queda were to ever form a football team and somehow were to play against the Steelers in a Superbowl... It would be a tough choice, but I'd have to cheer for the Al queda Bombers. Let's face it, they ain't much worse as people than Ben Rapelisburgle and his goons for an o-line. Or that "Dick" Ward.

Oh, and give me a break that the "association with Farve" bullshit. No one but you and Nate would buy into that. People feel sorry for the Packers because of Fav-rah. And btw, the Steelers ain't the underdogs... Are they? Steelers were the better team during the season and they match up better against the Pack. Who cares about that though? All I know, is that nobody outside of out of that stinky, smelly, poop-stained yellow and black towel infested city you call Pittsburghhhh wants to see them win tomorrow.... Or later today I guess. lol

[Heap]

Here we go. Let the "cheesy"-ness ensue: here's the 2010 version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7ALxylSbaU

[Mr. Irrelevant]

That just fuels my hate even more!

[Heap]

I don't care what YOU think, those lightweights in Green Bay don't even have as cool of a song...

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Heaps, win or lose tomorrow, Green Bay will always be known as Title-town whereas Pittsburghhhh will always be known as the place where young girls can go to be raped by a chubby quarterback that wrecks a lot of vehicles.

Come on, Heaps. You know I'm just messing around with ya though. But I've gotta say this in all seriousness. Since you've known me, it's been you, Nate and the Steelers: 2; Me: 0 And it very well might end up being 3-0 after tomorrow. So the way I see it, my hate for the Steelers is all that keeps me going in a world where I will likely never see my team win a another Superbowl again, the town I live in will never have a team despite the fact that its a bigger market than 9 other cities that do, and where I completely suck ass on every NFL related poll/contest that is held on SFJ.

[Dr. P]

I don't care what YOU think, those lightweights in Green Bay don't even have as cool of a song...

What are you TALKING about?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFVksXMbVHw&feature=related

[Pinch One Off]

My Dad was from Pittsburgh area so I'm going to have to go for the Steelers but I'm looking for a close game.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Good point Pinch. I was high school classmates with a guy who went to prison for raping 3 teenage (13, 14, and 16) girls when he was 27, so I'm should probably cheer for Pittsburgh as well. Whaaaaaaat?

[Booze]

What order did he rape them in?

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Why? Have you not engaged in your daily fap therapy session yet?

The truth is, Booze... I don't know the finer details of who, what, when where and how, because I wasn't there. They had his picture plastered on the news, his name and what he did. Those of who knew him weren't all that suprised either.

[Dr. P]

This will be the first Super Bowl EVER with no cheerleaders on the sidelines. The terrorists have won.

[Taco Teo]

Heaps has posted so much garbage that I can't even dignify any of it with a response. Other than to say, don't blame the Fav-ray debacle on us. He wasn't that whiny when he was on our team. Oh, and GO PACK GO!!!! Kick the Steelers collective ass.

[Dr. P]

Why don't the Packers or Steelers have cheerleaders, Toe? There have to be girls in those towns and they wouldn't have to worry about them grazing on that artificial turf.

[Taco Teo]

Packers do use cheerleaders, but they are the ones from local colleges and sometimes high schools. Not sure why they decided to eliminate "professional" ones way back when. Maybe they figure most of the fans are such huge supporters and drink enough at the games that they don't need cheerleaders to get them pumped up? Don't really know.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Don't worry Taco... I already called out that filthy redneck raper-lover Heaps for his propaganda about the Packers.

I've always like the Packers. They're not my favorite team, but I was glad to see them win it in 97 and I cheered for them the following year. However... if you show me your tits, I will denounce my allegiance to that piece of shit silver and black team and I will bleed yellow and green until the day I die.... Scout's honor! So.... whatdoyasay?

[Taco Teo]

Although I appreciate they offer, someone has to cheer for the Raiders. Better you than me. HA!

It's always been interesting to me that if the Packers aren't a person's favorite team, they always seem to be in the top 3 or so of who people like. Why is that?

[Dr. P]

Cause you know a lot of fags? lol/jk

Honestly, I started liking the Packers b/c of Favre. He was always fun to watch and root for. No way I'd care one way or the other who won this game if Brent didn't have me pulling for the Packers in those two Super Bowls.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Taco really wants to know why people only like the Packers as their 2nd or 3rd favorite team? Who cares? It's probably a good thing and that's what keeps them off of the hate radar. I would give my left nut for society as a whole to embrace the Raiders as their 3rd favorite team. You should be so lucky, whore!


In all seriousness, I'm sure a lot of it has to do with tradition. They won the first two and the trophy is called the Lombardi trophy for crying out loud... Everyone likes the Lombari trophy because everyone likes the superbowl. So that means that everyone likes Vince Lombardi.... He coached the Packers, ipso facto.... A lot of people don't mind seeing the Packers in a SB. And of course, you've got legends like Burt Starrfish and Brent Farveaheau what helped the Packers gain a good rep amongst anyone who's a fan of pro football.

Now go put on one of those stupid cheese hats and let the gift of my wisdom sink in.

[Jdiggity Dee]

Seriously, Where are the Steelerettes?

-Byp

[Dr. P]

Looks like Vince Lombardi is wiping his ass with a terrible towel in heaven.

[Dr. P]

Here we go Steelers, here we go!

[Dr. P]

Green Bay would have this game put away if their receivers didn't suddenly all get butter fingers. What amateurs.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

No kidding. I think Aaron Rodgers and the defense have proven that they deserve to be here, especially considering that 3 key defensive players are basically out of the game. But those receivers??? And there's virtually no running game at all. No wonder they were somewhat wishy-washy throughout the season.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

This is weird. I think Heaps sent this text to me by mistake...


Nate, I'm shitting bricks. It's too close to call and usually the Steelers are in the lead at this point. Big Ben will probably come through for us, but let's hold off on the Lowe's run for now. lolz

[Dr. P]

Really, inside the 5 yard line in the Super Bowl and you kick a fg? Way to play like a fag, McCarthy.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

They shoulda just gone for it and forced them to start from the 4 had they not scored. This is making me nervous because Big Raper is very capable of scoring a TD in 2:00.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Whoa... This is weird. How am I getting these?


Yippee for us Heaps! They're only up on us by 6 points! I'm warming up the car. Lowes is locked in on my GPS... Be ready.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Simply amazing. I don't think anyone would have pegged them to win this piece. They deserve it. Taco, my hot niece and my daughter are all very happy right now.

[Dr. P]

Nice playin' both teams, another exciting Super Bowl.

[melon]

I can't sleep, this is like Christmas Eve for me. This game later today may be one of the best SB's of all time. At least the matchup calls for one.

Prediction: Ike Taylor will win Superbowl MVP.

http://www.venue.nu/images/photoalbum/album_5/Simpsons-Nelson-haha.jpg

[melon]

Nice playin' both teams, another exciting Super Bowl.

We've been lucky to have this run of competitive Super Bowls. Remember all the blowouts there used to be?

[Dr. P]

I can't sleep, this is like Christmas Eve for me. This game later today may be one of the best SB's of all time. At least the matchup calls for one.

Prediction: Ike Taylor will win Superbowl MVP.

http://i51.tinypic.com/jtrz1w.jpg

[melon]

Heaps is wiping his tears with his coupons right about now.

Super BowLOL

[Mr. Irrelevant]

I heard that Heaps made a homemade version of the terrible "towel" out of some random supplies that he had on hand...

1. 16"x16" square of tinfoil wrapping.
2. 1 bottle of Elmer's glue
3. 1 box of Macaroni noodles.
4. 1 can of Yellow spray paint.
5. 1 can of black spray paint.

Instructions:
1. Carefully de-crumple ball of used tinfoil from bbq pit.
2. spray paint entire surface with yellow paint (one side, one coat only)
3. spray paint macaroni with black paint can before applying to the surface.
4. glue macaroni noodles to surface spelling out the words "Terrible Towel" and "Go Steelers" and "five rings for the pink, two rings for the stink" (use loose pebbles if not enough macaroni)

[Taco Teo]

Woohoo!!!!!

[Taco Teo]

So, because my neck of the woods didn't get enough attention during the Super Bowl, it only made sense that the City of Dallas would give Michael Vick a key to the city and then decide maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

http://www.wfaa.com/news/local/Dallas-official-under-fire-for-honoring-Michael-Vick-115527714.html

[melon]

Vick is gonna be on Ofrah.

[Boyd]

Vick is gonna be on Ofrah.

I wonder what the free audience give-away is going to be. A Bad Newz Kennel® Rape Cage might be a nice touch, being Valentines Day and all. And maybe MV7® Junior Pet Excution Kits for the Kiddies.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Free Pit Bulls!