Reaper696
01-18-2006, 06:26 PM
Lady:Aaaah,such a beautiful day.La dee da dee da...
Bum:Excuse me miss,my stomach would like some food.
Lady:Why sure,here's a couple of dollars.
Bum:Thanks (click),now my gun would like your whole purse.
Lady:Oh deary dear,here you go.
Bum:Thank you for your donation,it's much appreciated ha ha(WHOOSH!).
Lady:AAAAAAAAAH!
Spider Man:( WHOOSH!)Is there a problem,or are you a back-up singer for a heavy metal band?
Lady:I've just been robbed!I had $1,000 in there!There goes my mud bath!WAAAAAAA!
Spider Man:Settle down lady,he can't get away from me,with my magnetic personality and all.Be right back(WHOOSH!)..................Here's your purse ma'am.
Lady:Oh thank you!I...Wait,there's only $800 in here.
Spider Man:Oh,well I guess he hid it somewhere for when he got out of jail,that's it.
Lady:Oh OK.Here's $100 for your troubles.
Spider Man:Why thank you,but usually I wash off the mud,not bathe in it.
Lady:Oh,you're so bad.
Spider Man:Lady,you don't know the half of it...
Meanwhile,as Spidey swings around the city...
(Wow,I did good.I got $300 for that little scuffle.Now I can pay the rent I owe Aunt May.I don't feel bad about taking her money,she said it was going for a mud bath.Hell,why doesn't she play ion her own backyard for a mud bath,dirt is dirt or so I thought.I hope Mary Jane's still not mad at me,that's the last time I use my webbing for a condom.Maybe i can buy her a...)
(DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING!)
Spider Man:Uh-oh,someone's trying to rob the jewlery store again.Let's see what booty I can pluck here...
Storekeep:Spider Man,they stole 10 10-carat diamonds from me!
Spider Man:Whoa,100 carats?Sounds like Bugs Bunny's wet dream.
Storekeep:I can't afford to lose that many diamonds,they were supposed to be for Elizabeth Taylor's next weddings.
Spider Man:Jeez,you think she'd learn after the first 9.Anyway,let me see if I can get your 8 diamonds back
Storekeep:10 diamonds Spider Man.
Spider Man:Oh yeah,10.Sorry about that(WHOOSH!).
Meanwhile,while swinging for clues...
(Hmmmm,Now where could those diamonds be.I can't just...(woogy woogy woogy)Whoa,my spider sense is tingling...Hellooooooo dumbasses!Maybe it's me,but if I stole a bunch of diamonds I'd make sure they didn't fall out of my pocket.Oh well,they can rethink the whole thing in jail.)
Spider Man:( WHOOSH!) Hi guys,my girlfriend needs a diamond.You got any?
Robber ..1:What's it to you?
Spider Man:I just need something to kiss my girlfriend's ass,that's all.Besides,the true owner of those jewels would like most of them back.
Robber ..2:MOST of them back?
Spider Man:Hey,I'll level with ya.I'm fucking broke and I'm hungry.I need the money as much as you do,so if we strike a deal I won't kick your sorry asses and take you to jail.
Robber ..1:Hmmmm,OK.I'll give you 6 of the diamonds.Deal?
Spider Man:If you throw in a note to me letting me know when you're gonna rob something else you got a deal.
Robber ..2:Fuck it,fine!HERE!(Flump,flump)
Spider man:Nice doing business with ya...
Meanwhile,with Mary Jane...
Mary Jane:You know I like it when you wear your costume.
Spider Man:You'll like it even more in a minute,I'm having present made for you.
Mary Jane:Oh really?
Spider Man:Yep,it'll be ready tomorrow.I'm sorry about the condom fiasco,but at least we had fun freeing ourselves.
Mary Jane:Yeah,I think we should free ourselves now.I'm gonna let my fingers do the walking.............Ummm,Peter,why are your balls so hard?
Spider Man:Oh,umm,it gets really cold when you swing from building to building.Let me take care of that real quick...
Bum:Excuse me miss,my stomach would like some food.
Lady:Why sure,here's a couple of dollars.
Bum:Thanks (click),now my gun would like your whole purse.
Lady:Oh deary dear,here you go.
Bum:Thank you for your donation,it's much appreciated ha ha(WHOOSH!).
Lady:AAAAAAAAAH!
Spider Man:( WHOOSH!)Is there a problem,or are you a back-up singer for a heavy metal band?
Lady:I've just been robbed!I had $1,000 in there!There goes my mud bath!WAAAAAAA!
Spider Man:Settle down lady,he can't get away from me,with my magnetic personality and all.Be right back(WHOOSH!)..................Here's your purse ma'am.
Lady:Oh thank you!I...Wait,there's only $800 in here.
Spider Man:Oh,well I guess he hid it somewhere for when he got out of jail,that's it.
Lady:Oh OK.Here's $100 for your troubles.
Spider Man:Why thank you,but usually I wash off the mud,not bathe in it.
Lady:Oh,you're so bad.
Spider Man:Lady,you don't know the half of it...
Meanwhile,as Spidey swings around the city...
(Wow,I did good.I got $300 for that little scuffle.Now I can pay the rent I owe Aunt May.I don't feel bad about taking her money,she said it was going for a mud bath.Hell,why doesn't she play ion her own backyard for a mud bath,dirt is dirt or so I thought.I hope Mary Jane's still not mad at me,that's the last time I use my webbing for a condom.Maybe i can buy her a...)
(DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING!)
Spider Man:Uh-oh,someone's trying to rob the jewlery store again.Let's see what booty I can pluck here...
Storekeep:Spider Man,they stole 10 10-carat diamonds from me!
Spider Man:Whoa,100 carats?Sounds like Bugs Bunny's wet dream.
Storekeep:I can't afford to lose that many diamonds,they were supposed to be for Elizabeth Taylor's next weddings.
Spider Man:Jeez,you think she'd learn after the first 9.Anyway,let me see if I can get your 8 diamonds back
Storekeep:10 diamonds Spider Man.
Spider Man:Oh yeah,10.Sorry about that(WHOOSH!).
Meanwhile,while swinging for clues...
(Hmmmm,Now where could those diamonds be.I can't just...(woogy woogy woogy)Whoa,my spider sense is tingling...Hellooooooo dumbasses!Maybe it's me,but if I stole a bunch of diamonds I'd make sure they didn't fall out of my pocket.Oh well,they can rethink the whole thing in jail.)
Spider Man:( WHOOSH!) Hi guys,my girlfriend needs a diamond.You got any?
Robber ..1:What's it to you?
Spider Man:I just need something to kiss my girlfriend's ass,that's all.Besides,the true owner of those jewels would like most of them back.
Robber ..2:MOST of them back?
Spider Man:Hey,I'll level with ya.I'm fucking broke and I'm hungry.I need the money as much as you do,so if we strike a deal I won't kick your sorry asses and take you to jail.
Robber ..1:Hmmmm,OK.I'll give you 6 of the diamonds.Deal?
Spider Man:If you throw in a note to me letting me know when you're gonna rob something else you got a deal.
Robber ..2:Fuck it,fine!HERE!(Flump,flump)
Spider man:Nice doing business with ya...
Meanwhile,with Mary Jane...
Mary Jane:You know I like it when you wear your costume.
Spider Man:You'll like it even more in a minute,I'm having present made for you.
Mary Jane:Oh really?
Spider Man:Yep,it'll be ready tomorrow.I'm sorry about the condom fiasco,but at least we had fun freeing ourselves.
Mary Jane:Yeah,I think we should free ourselves now.I'm gonna let my fingers do the walking.............Ummm,Peter,why are your balls so hard?
Spider Man:Oh,umm,it gets really cold when you swing from building to building.Let me take care of that real quick...