Survivor: China

[KungFuJesus]

Starts in a couple mins over here. Discuss in this thread if'n you watch it.

[Franks n Beans]

Oh Fuck!! I wanted to watch this season and forgot to set the recorder. I'll have to see if they run it on the web.

[mysticllama]

I sure hope they don't spit anywhere.

[Superbonbon]

I sure hope they don't spit anywhere.

:rofl:

(I hear sidewalks in China often resemble a slip-n-slide)

[Mr. Irrelevant]

I watched it... pretty much the same ol' shit as all the other past seasons....

1. Team A gets along well and works well together
2. Team B has a lot of drama and does not work well together
3. Tensions rise in the Team B camp
4. Team A kicks team B's asses in the challenge
5. Team A gets fire as a reward and immunity
6. Team B goes to tribal council and votes off a person who felt pretty confident about not getting voted off. And it's usually a unanimous vote or an overwhelming majority of votes, lol.
7. Then afterwards the chicken fucker host, Probst wusses out and gives the losers fire even though they didn't deserve it.

Next week...

Team B starts to bond while team A's drama begins to unfold. Then (reverse the fortunes of the teams) repeat steps 2 thru 6 from above.

What's funny is each team has a token slant-eye to represent them... And it's in China! HELLO! lmao I swear, these Survivor producers love those racial stereotypes. I know they've had Asian-Americans on past shows, but I wouldn't put it past CBS to make sure they definitely had them for this one.

[Spooner]

They had "Big Tom" II in the form of "Chicken"; then they keep two useless, whiney dumb whores on. Yeah, you're right, Sav: same as it ever was. Still, I've got it Tivo'ed, but I fucking MISSED the first half hour, which is the best part, sociologically. Well, if I missed any good dynamics, lemme know.

Oh, you forgot to mention the lazy black guy who eats everyone's shit when they're out working. That guy's in every season, and this one ain't no different.

[Superbonbon]

There is also a gay male every session. Easy to spot this year though, Mrs Bonbon and I usually lay bets on who it is but with him being 'out' and all its a bit of a let down.

Anyone else notice that the woman who wouldn't bow in the shrine kissed the immunity idol?

[Heap]

I know I've said it before, and I'll say it again. When they come out with Survivor: Johannesburg, I won't miss a go dam episode. They gotta do it Man vs. Wild style 'n drop 'em all in there via parachute (including Probst and camera crew). Although the challenges will mostly consist of selling fruits on street markets during daytime and robbing tourists/surviving muggings at night, there will be extra points given to any team who can pull off a 419 scam.

[moneymaker]

Am I missing something or did they not cast the stereotypical lazy-ass negroman? The gravedigger will put your ass in the ground and seems to be a workhorse.

[Pull Out Method]

I know I've said it before, and I'll say it again. When they come out with Survivor: Johannesburg, I won't miss a go dam episode. They gotta do it Man vs. Wild style 'n drop 'em all in there via parachute (including Probst and camera crew). Although the challenges will mostly consist of selling fruits on street markets during daytime and robbing tourists/surviving muggings at night, there will be extra points given to any team who can pull off a 419 scam.

:rofl: :rofl:

and I know I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'll start paying attention more when they allow them to hit each other... or don't get food handed to them gift wrapped. Until then, I'll keep half watching it with the wife while playing my DS.

[KungFuJesus]

Ok... here's my take so far.
First, they've got this blonde NYC waitress chick. The first we see of her, she's in a fucking chinese buddhist temple surrounded by chanting monks and gold statues and the whole 9. Pretty impressive. This ... kunt is seen several times rolling her fuckin eyes about how much she has to bow. If there was ever anybody needed a face-slap through the TV, it's this bitch.
Then there's the christian radio talk show host who got on my nerves immediately when she had to leave the temple because bowing at the statues "felt too much like worship and I only worship jesus christ."
Ok... 2+ jesus points for you, lady.
Whoever posted above had trouble spotting the gay, lemme give you a hint. Could it be the male flight attendant with the expertly sculpted eyebrows, swishy walk and wrists only sturdy enough to lift a can of hair mousse? Hmmmmm.
And how about the negro gravedigger? He's a fuckin throwback to slave days, swear to christ. He looks and sounds just like John Coffey from the Green Mile! I kept expecting him to say Yes Massa when they were building their shelter.
The female pro wrestler with the enormous fake tits was also nerve-grating with her tough guy attitude... until she got sick on day 2. Not such a badass with malaria coursing through your thick bicep veins, are ya?
Oh and here's an idea. Let's all vote out the one useful guy! Chicken never had a chance with these young hipsters who would rather do the cabbage patch dance than actually pick up a hammer and make a shelter.
Bleh... just based on 1 episode it's clearly going to be the worst season yet. I'll be watching every episode to confirm.

[Pull Out Method]

^ Which is why they need to be able to hit each other...


Could it be the male flight attendant with the expertly sculpted eyebrows, swishy walk and wrists only sturdy enough to lift a can of hair mousse?

lmao lmao

[Roland Schwinn]

Ok... Then there's the christian radio talk show host who got on my nerves immediately when she had to leave the temple because bowing at the statues "felt too much like worship and I only worship jesus christ."


I hate religious people who actually believe their religion....



And how about the negro gravedigger? He's a fuckin throwback to slave days, swear to christ. He looks and sounds just like John Coffey from the Green Mile! I kept expecting him to say Yes Massa when they were building their shelter.


:rofl: I was waiting for him to break into song at any minute... "Ol' Man Ribbuh... Dat Ol' Man Ribbuh...."

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Actually Bill, the negro in this one is more like what Fu said, a throw back to the slave days.... Cordial, shy, big and muscular, talks just like Samuel Jackson did in the movie "A Time to Kill"... in other words, ALL of the old school negro stereotypes.

And the best part was when Church Lady asked him what he did for a living and ALL he said was "I bury people". :rofl:

Ashley from WWE is on there too. How the hell did she get in on that? I wonder if she got fired from WWE or something. Some dude on her team was totally geeked about her being there. I bet he spanked it hard every night until tribal council came around.

[TheWagesofSin]

I can't believe people still watch this shit

[mysticllama]

Isn't it in the arena of 80% scripted?

[Mr. Irrelevant]

I've only watched 4 of them religiously...

The original
Outback (The best one of them all)
All-Stars (The worst one of them all)
China

ps. When are they going to do a Survivor: Antarctica? That one would rock the hiz-ouse!

[Spooner]

Fu: "Whoever posted above had trouble spotting the gay, lemme give you a hint. Could it be the male flight attendant with the expertly sculpted eyebrows, swishy walk and wrists only sturdy enough to lift a can of hair mousse? Hmmmmm."

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/2577/chucklinpuppetsbm9.gif (http://imageshack.us)

:10score:

[Franks n Beans]

Watched it tonight. Only thing I must ask is, don't these friggin people watch the show? I mean seriously, wear shit to be prepared to start playing. I cant even remember the last time they let the people take personal items and shit. A bunch of dumbasses this season.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

I'd love to see you on Survivor, Beans. And if I was on there too, I'd never vote your ass off. That is until I decide to stab you in the back when it's down to 3, maybe 4 people left. :poke:

[Franks n Beans]

Gee Sav, you're a swell guy. BTW I really can't complain about the girls running around in their underwear!

[Mr. Irrelevant]

See Beans... You'd be perfect for Survivor. If you were on the show, you could see all them tight panties live and in person. You can even chase them around the beach or the jungle or wherver and regail them with stories about how you were struck by lightning. And they'd eat that shit up too!

[Dr. P]

http://i8.tinypic.com/4oruoow.jpg

[TheWagesofSin]

^lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao

[Franks n Beans]

I'm such a dick. I have the night off and was all excited to watch tonight. At 9:00 ET. Fuck!


Aw man! Can't believe they got rida Ashley boobs! I'm starting to like Jamie. She's a cutie.

[Pull Out Method]

Wooo Hoooo! I was happy to see "I only worship Jesus and immunity idols" dumbass go.

[Franks n Beans]

Oh crap! I have another episode to watch!!

[Spooner]

Forgive me if anyone's brought this up here already, but I'm in a hurry and can't comb the thread. I had to watch two episodes back to back before I could read this thread.

Not since "Boston Rob" have I wanted to jump through my TV screen and beat pure hell out of some cocksucker than I do with this "Dave" guy (further confirming that every guy named "Dave" -- in America, anyway -- is an asshole). The little fruity faces he makes at tribal council, his moobs, trying to think he's Hatch by letting his little turkey neck flop around during that one challenge, thinkin' he's the big bad boss around camp with nothing but fags and chicks to push around... Holy Christ... I could barely get through it w/out reaching for the Valium.

That guy better be next... and, the negroid? Funny how it only takes two episodes before he's already talkin' about where the white women at. Can't wait ta see him gone, either. LOADS of assholes and whores this season (and WHAT the fuck is that behemoth sasquatch with the butch hair, bowling-pin figure, and jail-house tatts doin' on that show? I gagged seein' her in that bathing suit).

[Franks n Beans]

Wooo Hoooo! I was happy to see "I only worship Jesus and immunity idols" dumbass go.

She was the one that Jamie gave the clue about the immunity "Idol" right?

[Superbonbon]

Yep, that was her.

[Pull Out Method]

Forgive me if anyone's brought this up here already, but I'm in a hurry and can't comb the thread. I had to watch two episodes back to back before I could read this thread.

Not since "Boston Rob" have I wanted to jump through my TV screen and beat pure hell out of some cocksucker than I do with this "Dave" guy (further confirming that every guy named "Dave" -- in America, anyway -- is an asshole). The little fruity faces he makes at tribal council, his moobs, trying to think he's Hatch by letting his little turkey neck flop around during that one challenge, thinkin' he's the big bad boss around camp with nothing but fags and chicks to push around... Holy Christ... I could barely get through it w/out reaching for the Valium.

That guy better be next... and, the negroid? Funny how it only takes two episodes before he's already talkin' about where the white women at. Can't wait ta see him gone, either. LOADS of assholes and whores this season (and WHAT the fuck is that behemoth sasquatch with the butch hair, bowling-pin figure, and jail-house tatts doin' on that show? I gagged seein' her in that bathing suit).

I'm with ya BTI, that fucker (Dave) is setting himself up for disaster too. I can already see him crying at the end after he gets kicked off because everybody is sick of his bitchin. I absolutley loved him pussing out in the immunity challenge where they had to break the walls with the logs. What a fag.

[Cliff Pettigrew]

Well I didn't expect that last night. I mean the lady boogie all tired and laying around camp conservin her enregee. I thought to myself "someone get her some grape drink and she'll get the fire goin."

Then they got rid of captain obnoxious. =D>

[Superbonbon]

I'm glad to see Zoolander gone but the lazy negress would have been fine to loose too. Dave was an ass but she throws around attitude like she already owns all the tea in China. I wouldn't mind seeing the praying mantis chick voted off either, she gives me the creeps.

[Spooner]

I just had a fucking wild revelation watching this week's show last night. When I first saw that "Jean Robaire" fag, I said, "Unghh!! THAT fuckin' asshole looks painfully familiar!" I couldn't put my finger on it. I knew but one thing for sure: He was a cocksucker.

Then, last night, outta nowhere, they mention that he's a "poker player" :roll:!! Then it fucking HIT ME! I've sat and watched that charlatan/wannabe motherfucker play on COUNTLESS tables over the last few years (he was "training" with one of the Middle Eastern veterans), and I remember him trying *way* too hard to be all quippy and edgy... in particular, he fell on his face trying to bust a line from Tombstone (he goes, "Ahhh be yuh huck-a-berry" in the WORST, fucking gayest way you can imagine). I remember wanting to jump through my TV screen back THEN. And now I've gotta endure this fuckhole on Survivor?!!!

I do know this, regardless: That fucking negroid makes me wanna puke in my mouth. I hope he jumps into the next grave he digs. He makes my ulcers bleed.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Holey shit! hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!1!!

http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/8241/survivorpicmm2.jpg

[Taco Teo]

I'm not sure if that hit me as the funniest part or the part where he lists "sprinting" as one of his hobbies?

[Spooner]

I'm with Sav... the pit bull's funnier. lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao (no offense).

That guy better fucking get voted off just after the fifth-rate wannabe poker play fag with moobs.

[Spooner]

Shit, no one commented on that horrible ending? That little rat-face, transparent, back-knifing, weasel faggot getting the cool mil? Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?! These jurors make me sicker than the finalists.

It never fails that all but one of 'em goes limp when it comes time to torching those assholes on the stand, and the biggest cocksmoker always bangs the same old drum for the sociopathic measures they sink to, always with the "it's a game, and I was up-front about bein' full of shit," and blah blah blah. And every year, these dumb assholes cave in and hand the money over to the biggest cocksucker. Very refreshing :roll:.

And, how nauseatingly predictable was it for white, teenage America to all rally around and give the hundred K to the big, dumb colored guy who played thee notoriously worst game in the history of the show. Yep, they all wanna rally around the big black guy... another whopper of a surprise. Ah, Christ... and I'll sit like an asshole and watch the entire next season, hoping for a different outcome, and be here typing almost this identical post at the end of THAT season. It's shameful. Just ONCE, let ONE PERSON *not* be a pathetic dumbass on the jury. All's I ask, really.

[Franks n Beans]

^lmao I didn't watch the season but I tell ya, with a review like that, I didn't need to!

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Todd was a weasely little cunt! If anyone deserved to win that one (out of the final 4) it was either Amanda or Denise. The other gal was a total skank and Todd was a douche. But that's the way it always goes. Richard Hatch was the biggest slimeball in the original one, and he won the million dollars. Then there was the one where that dipshit Boston Rob and his whore girlfriend soared all the way to the final despite the fact that everyone hated them both. The gal who won in Survivor:Africa was a total witch also. All the winners (save one) are the worst of the worst out of the whole bunch that they're with.

The jury always pusses out for the worst human being left. Why? Because they wouldn't be any different if they were in that spot.

The ONLY Survivor show that I can think of where someone deserving of the cool mill, that actually won it, was Tina from Survivor: Australia. However, she alligned herself that alpha-asshole Colby. And then he practically handed it to her because he was a fuckin' poon hound! So the way I see it, she only won because she got lucky. Because there ain't been a single other season where someone noble in character has won it all.

I honestly hate that fuckin' show with a passion, and yet it sucks me in everytime. :angry: :killme:

[volodya]

My friend actually used to work with Rudy(from first season) when he was stationed in Dam Neck.

[KungFuJesus]

Sav did you see last season? Some bowl haircut won it and he was a solid dude the whole game. He didn't shank anybody's flank the whole game and won easily with the jury.

EDIT: Two seasons ago

[Franks n Beans]

Yea I remember that. He was one smart bowl dude.

[Spooner]

This new season in February looks killer. Old-school hacks against fanboys/fanwhores. As long as I don't have to see Rupert or that annoying bullshitter "Boston Rob" again, it'll be a fine season.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Sav did you see last season? Some bowl haircut won it and he was a solid dude the whole game. He didn't shank anybody's flank the whole game and won easily with the jury.

EDIT: Two seasons ago

I didn't see that one or the one before that. So I had no idea that someone (other than Tina Wessen) with character could win the goddamn thing. That's crazy! And I'm glad to hear that.

Was that the season where the teams were Boogies vs. Chinks vs. Honkies vs. Wetbacks? If so, then yeah, I missed that one because I already knew that either the Chinks or the White's would win. 39 days without fried chicken and grape juice for those boogies is like a death sentence.

[Franks n Beans]

racist^

[moneymaker]

nuts^

[Mr. Irrelevant]

give it up. we don't give a shit about this stupid spook game


racist^

'nuff said

[Franks n Beans]

Hey I'm just a pot calling the kettle you

[The BYP]

^^^^pothead

[Franks n Beans]

nah i quit that shit along time ago

[Mr. Irrelevant]

^^^^
Judging by some of your posts, it sounds like you're still maintaining.

[Franks n Beans]

I didn't say I was unaffected by my adolescent drug use

[PeggyLove]

I didn't say I was unaffected by my adolescent drug use

More like your recent drug use

[TheWagesofSin]

More like your recent drug use

:score:

[Mr. Irrelevant]

More like your recent drug use

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Peggy with da beat down!

[PeggyLove]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Peggy with da beat down!

:tip:



:pop:

[Franks n Beans]

Yea whatever ms peggy. I got my eye on you.

[PeggyLove]

Yea whatever ms peggy. I got my eye on you.

:dance: :dance: