How many 9 year old could you beat up?

[Dr. P]

Not retards, none of 'em will have weapons, all of 'em boys, one at a time in a ring; how many do you think you could unleash on and take down?

[Belasco]

=D> :thumbsup: :tipofthecap:

Fuckin' A! Any breaks or is it just non-stop nine-year olds?

I'd probably start tiring out at around 300 or 400. I'm assuming that as soon as you take one out the next one steps in.

Otherwise, if they're just coming in at a timed interval, you could get overwhelmed as time goes on. But that first one is getting chopped right in the throat. That'll make the rest think twice and be a little more nervous.

[Dr. P]

Hell yeah! They'll be coming in one at a time, every 60 seconds. So if you get tired and can't finish one off, you'll have two to deal with after a minute. Kicks, elbows- anything goes, so I'm thinking I could take a shitload of 'em. I'd fuck the first couple up so brutally that the next ones would be hesitant to kick me in the balls or anything.

[the deta]

9 year old boys are pussies.

[AB]

You keep swinging and kicking, it'll wear ya down. But a hundred or so easy.

[Taco Teo]

Most of them are taller and heavier than I am, so I might not fair too well.

[Belasco]

well, shit, then I have to lower my estimate. I'm not in great shape, so I was counting on toying with them by using the full-nelson and other holds so that I could recover some energy. But, every 60 seconds means that it'll probably be 250 tops. Adrenaline will help because I'd love nothing more than to beat the shit out of the little pricks.

[AB]

Most of them are taller and heavier than I am, so I might not fair too well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSIy4W83DqE
cSIy4W83DqE

[Dean W.]

This thread.

lmao lmao lmao

Are these Crazy Ass 9 year olds, or just your garden variety?

Well if theres no lunch box swinging 9 year olds, I guess quite a few.

[The BYP]

I said 3 because they be knowin karate and shit.

[Dr. P]

This thread.

lmao lmao lmao

Are these Crazy Ass 9 year olds, or just your garden variety?

Well if theres no lunch box swinging 9 year olds, I guess quite a few.

Nah, just regular kids. Anything goes, except the next kid can't come into the ring until one minute after the last one. It'd be important to really fuck up any that come in swinging, so the next kids would go down easy.

[Dr. P]

Okay, Fu always go against the grain when voting (see the pubic hair preference poll, when he claimed to like a bush few shrubs could touch). BYP, on the other hand needs to post a reason, though. He's a big guy, and I think could take out double-digit numbers of 9 year olds easily. I started this poll to get ANSWERS and reasons. Give 'em to me, folks.... or my next thread is how many kittens could you kill.

[Cliff Pettigrew]

I didn't read all the rules before I voted, I thought it was all at once so easily over 25.

I use to take on 10 at once during cub scout meetings when I was a cub master. Just pop them in the nose and they run away with tears streaming down their face.

[CommunistaCow]

Y'all obviously haven't seen what nutcases 9-YO are these days. And, I'm just talking the heifers. They'll fuck you up.

Wurd.

[myeviltwin01]

or my next thread is how many kittens could you kill.

Kittens are way easier to kill than 9 year olds...you could probably get six of them at once just by stepping on them.

[Dr. P]

Hells yeah! And you break a kid's nose, the next twenty are hesitant to rumble with us! If one kid comes out kicking your 'nads, you gotta snap his neck. The next kid will get it: go down easy and you'll live.

[Dr. P]

Kittens are way easier to kill than 9 year olds...you could probably get six of them at once just by stepping on them.

Kittens and puppies are another thread, MET. I'll get to that.:tipofthecap:

[myeviltwin01]

Well hop to it! They aren't gonna stay small enough to step on forever. :poke:

[volodya]

Well this depends. No matter what I'd probably take an arm off the first kid and club the next few with it. One question: are all the other little ones on the ring on the other side of the ropes? You could get quite a few that way if you finish off a kid quick and the next one is not allowed in until 60 seconds...

[Dr. P]

V, once their 9 year old feet hit the ring, it's on. No rules beyond that.

[myeviltwin01]

So then if that's the case, I could put an Xbox in the corner of the ring and then knock em out as soon as they sat their bony little rear ends in front of the damn thing...I could go all day if that's the case. :thumbsup:

[mysticllama]

What's my motivation for kicking the 9 year olds asses?

[myeviltwin01]

What's my motivation for kicking the 9 year olds asses?

Pure enjoyment?

[mysticllama]

Pure enjoyment?

I don't think I'd find it fun.

[volodya]

I think it'd be a lot of fun. I don't like kids very much.

[Verno]

What's the penalty for killing one or fifty?

[The BYP]

Ok I've thought about this. Chances are they would curl up in a ball on the floor. You would either have kick them or pick up the curled ball and throw it against something. I'll be 45 in 2 months I could probably go for 20 to 30 minutes so figure 1 per minute for at least 10 minutes then 1 per every 2 minutes after so I'd say a good 20 25 before I'd tire out.

[CommunistaCow]

I say that if you didn't kill each one quick, they'd be on you like those goofy-ass rat dinosaurs in JPII.

[mysticllama]

OK, I was imagining that they stole my bike and my Wii just now, and I think I could do it...

So I see it this way - I'm a lot fitter now, and I'm betting that I know evil ninja shit that they just *cannot* comprehend at 9.

It'd be like Rayman's Raving Rabbids, but I'd be the awesome dancing Rayman on the center platform, using my elite ninja moves.

I said 5-10, not knowing if they had sugar earlier in the day or what. Flailing arms can really damage the eyes.

[melon]

Can I dual wield machetes?

[Dr. P]

What's my motivation for kicking the 9 year olds asses?
:roll: It's a competition! Motivation comes from within!


Can I dual wield machetes?

:roll: Jesus, I've said twice, no weapons. If you need machetes to fight an infinite number of 9 year olds, you're in the wrong sport.

[Belasco]

I don't think there should be weapons on either side unless you're using the kid (or part of him) as a weapon. I like the idea of picking up the little bastard by the feet and air-planing him into his oncoming buddy.

[Dr. P]

That is totally legal.

[Dean W.]

I don't know Rus, I'm starting to re-think this whole idea.....


http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/5922/gonein60secondsuw5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Franks n Beans]

What was the motivation for this question?

[Belasco]

What was the motivation for this question?

Beans, don't worry about motivation. Just think on it. Channel all your anger into this scenario and tell us what the outcome will be.

Personally, I think you could take out at least 75. Probably 150 or more after a haircut.

[Dr. P]

Dean, I'd drop that little moolie like a bad habit, he wouldn't have the benefit of head gear. In fact, I'd be sure and snap his neck so the next "hero" would think twice about comin' in with an attitude. And Beans, ever see a couple of 3rd graders fight?

[Franks n Beans]

Beans, don't worry about motivation. Just think on it. Channel all your anger into this scenario and tell us what the outcome will be.

Personally, I think you could take out at least 75. Probably 150 or more after a haircut.

Damn...Do I come across that angered?

[nate]

What's my motivation for kicking the 9 year olds asses?
They're 9.

[aaron burr]

Hell yeah! They'll be coming in one at a time, every 60 seconds. So if you get tired and can't finish one off, you'll have two to deal with after a minute. .



yeah! kinda like a cool 80's video game!

[Superbonbon]

I went with 10-25. I have a bad back, one is bound to sneak up behind me and kick me in the back while I'm still poking the eyes out of an earlier entry. Or if Don King is promoting the fight I'd just fall down for the first one and leave with my payoff.

[The Dude]

about 150 if they are yer average suburban limp wipes, 75 or so of any minority type because they will give a little extra to take down the white man, and about 9 if they are them crazy ass Children of the Corn types.

[Taco Teo]

Hmmm...Russy says no weapons, but I'm wondering if I can use my breasts as a distraction. If that's the case I might be able to take at least a hand full of them. Boys are fascinated by tatas by that age, right? If not, I defer to my initial response.

[the deta]

Hmmm...Russy says no weapons, but I'm wondering if I can use my breasts as a distraction. If that's the case I might be able to take at least a hand full of them. Boys are fascinated by tatas by that age, right? If not, I defer to my initial response.

I'm pretty sure age is not going to be a factor when using this tactic. And a very good tactic it is!

[Belasco]

Hmmm...Russy says no weapons, but I'm wondering if I can use my breasts as a distraction. If that's the case I might be able to take at least a hand full of them. Boys are fascinated by tatas by that age, right? If not, I defer to my initial response.

That's evil.

I have no reservations about stomping a child to death, but to lure them in with boobs is just wrong.

[Dean W.]

I have no reservations about stomping a child to death, but to lure them in with boobs is just wrong.

lmao lmao

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Hell yeah!!

The kids feared me when I was a school bus driver because they're used to women drivers not men... And the fact that I'm nearly 300 lbs helped with the fear factor as well.

I could easily mow down several dozens of brats. Hell, I'd even take on three or four at a time just to run the table with the body count. Even if a few 10 thru 12 year olds slipped through the cracks, I don't think I'd even know the difference.... lol

I know, I know.... I'm a real sick fuck.

[the deta]

Hell yeah!!

The kids feared me when I was a school bus driver because they're used to women drivers not men... And the fact that I'm nearly 300 lbs helped with the fear factor as well.

I could easily mow down several dozens of brats. Hell, I'd even take on three or four at a time just to run the table with the body count. Even if a few 10 thru 12 year olds slipped through the cracks, I don't think I'd even know the difference.... lol

I know, I know.... I'm a real sick fuck.

Now thats a man's answer.

[Dr. P]

Taco, you really are disturbed. We're having a good time discussing something fun and you have to go and talk about exposing yourself to children. What the f, man?

[Jdiggity Dee]

woooman

[Pull Out Method]

I could take out at least a hundred, as long as I could catch 'em. If the first twenty or so just run away... I don't know then. We are talking a normal sized ring right?

[TedBellLover]

Hmmm...Russy says no weapons, but I'm wondering if I can use my breasts as a distraction. If that's the case I might be able to take at least a hand full of them. Boys are fascinated by tatas by that age, right? If not, I defer to my initial response.

You can take ME down that way anytime. PM me. :heartbeat:

[Zerath]

No one will ever love you.

[Dr. P]

Considerin' where that's comin' from, I'd hang it up, TB.

And POM, it's a fenced in octogon like what's in UFC.

[Heap]

What happens with the defeated? And who determines when a victory is achieved over a kid? I say I'm good for over 25 for most applications, but once I start to tire (which I'd put in around somewhere in the range of 30 minutes/50 kids) it might get a little more dicey.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

I like how this thing is like WWE Royal Rumble style, where new opponents enter the ring in intervals. Good thing too, because I could take out the first 30 or so in about 30 seconds per kid, giving me time to rest up for the next one. Then I'd take it slow and let about four or five in at the same time. Then I'd mow them down and wait for the next group of 5 to grow.

I also like the octogon and the 1 hour time limit idea.

ps. Thanks Ed :thumbsup:

pss. Teo, you are a sick woman.

psss. TBL got pwned by an emo-kid... :rofl: :rofl:

[Taco Teo]

Thanks, Sav. It sounds much nicer coming from you than it did from Russy. :tipofthecap:

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Well of course it does... Russel has a very judgmental tone about him when he speaks his mind. I on the other hand, am very gentle and understanding.

For example, When Russel says that you're a sick woman, his hope is that you'll cry yourself to sleep tonight with your face buried in a pillow.... And when I say that you're a sick woman, I'm hoping that someday, I'll be the reason why your face is buried in said pillow... you dig?

[Taco Teo]

:shocked:

[nate]

I think that's a yes.

[Dr. P]

Yeah. That means so much from a woman who admitted to be willing to expose herself to 9 year old boys. I feel sick just thinking about it. She should be ashamed.

[TedBellLover]

That's an interesting comment, Z. (???) Also Russ. (???) How's about you two MALE humans not spend too much time thinking or commenting on my love life on accounta you are MALES and it makes me a little uncomfortable. Seriously- I don't have any kind of hostility toward 9-year-olds. Now, if you said teenagers then I think we could all get on board with the violence and the kicking and the screaming. Or the a-holes who go past my house with their thumping stereos.

[mysticllama]

Or the a-holes who go past my house with their thumping stereos.

Where can we get in the ring with them? I want weapons for them tho, some of 'em look like meth freaks and I'd need the odds evened out a bit.

[Jdiggity Dee]

Not that I care about this but you folks should quit jawing and announce when is the event.

[Dr. P]

Go fuck yourself, TBL. Either post on this message board or leave. Your once a week drive bys really piss me off.

[nate]

Go fuck yourself, TBL. Either post on this message board or leave. Your once a week drive bys really piss me off.
=D> =D> =D> =D>

[TedBellLover]

Go fuck yourself, TBL. Either post on this message board or leave. Your once a week drive bys really piss me off.

Lithium, thorazine, take your pick. But take a handful and do it now, please. Or go jogging. That'll drop your blood pressure. Or pet a cat. Seriously, dude.

[Belasco]

Lithium, thorazine, take your pick. But take a handful and do it now, please. Or go jogging. That'll drop your blood pressure. Or pet a cat. Seriously, dude.

die in a fire, you fuckin' bag of dicks.

[Franks n Beans]

die in a fire, you fuckin' bag of dicks.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: "bag of dicks" :rofl: :rofl:

[TedBellLover]

Not a bag, jus' one big one. \\:D/

[nate]

Har har, oh man, you're a riot, Ted!

[Dr. P]

Lithium, thorazine, take your pick. But take a handful and do it now, please. Or go jogging. That'll drop your blood pressure. Or pet a cat. Seriously, dude.

My blood pressure is fine, as far as I know -and neither of those meds are for blood pressure. I'm happy that you actually read a response to one of your posts! You always come in here and stink the joint up, and then are offline for a week or two, then start it all over again and miss everything that's been said. It gets old.

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Whoa!

Did TBL actually respond to someone???? Stop the presses!!!