westernestates
12-17-2005, 01:27 AM
I'm sure most of you have heard Phil talk about the Nigerian people that try to con people using stupid ploys through e-mailing them. Well they would constantly I.M. me. I got fucking annoyed after a while and I decided to have fun with them. The two conversations that I'm posting are my personal favorites (especially the second one):
smoothysilk82: hello nice one how are u doing,i live in africa,u care for a chat?
Me: Sure why not.
smoothysilk82: how are u
Me: I am fine
smoothysilk82: how old are u
Me: I am 28
Me: and you?
smoothysilk82: am 26
Me: I see
smoothysilk82: wat do u do for living
Me: I am Video Game Programmer. I am quite famous here.
Me: at least in this community.
smoothysilk82: thats lovely
smoothysilk82: i live in africa
Me: I see. what part of Africa?
smoothysilk82: nigeria
Me: What part of Nigeria?
Me: if you don't mind me asking.
smoothysilk82: abuja
Me: I see.
smoothysilk82: u know about my country
Me: a little bit. I once knew someone from Nigeria.
smoothysilk82: really
Me: Yeah. He was a big pain in the ass. Not very nice.
smoothysilk82: really
smoothysilk82: u mt him there?
smoothysilk82: or here
Me: Nope here in America.
smoothysilk82: oh ok
smoothysilk82: so u work for play station or something
Me: Actually I work for an American division of Konami.
Me: My next project is with Hideo Kojima who is one of the biggest video game designers in the world. I'm going to make $5 million on it. I'm so happy.
smoothysilk82: thats nice
Me: Although I don't need it I already have several million.
smoothysilk82: ok
smoothysilk82: well my name is charles,i studied applied physics in the university and i want to learn about the stuffs like u do
Me: Really? Like what?
smoothysilk82: chips and programming
smoothysilk82: and i need up help cos i dont have a job
me: Really what kind of help?
smoothysilk82: i am very poor,a very intelligent student but i want to be like u
me: Well that is flattering. I appreciate the compliment.
smoothysilk82: ok
me: How can I be of help?
smoothysilk82: i want to go for some coaching here but i dont have the money for it,my father is dead,ll i have is my mom
me: Sorry to hear that.
me: You must have had a hard life.
smoothysilk82: oh yes but i was one of the best in the university
me: Good for you. I'm proud of you.
smoothysilk82: thank u so much
me: I came from a very simmiliar background.
me: Both of my parents are dead and I was molested at the orpaned that I was at by a lesibein. Then when I was 10 I got ran over by a car and had both of my legs amputated but now I am very rich.
me: I completly understand how you feel.
me: I'll try to help you the best way I can.
me: What do you need?
smoothysilk82: some money to go for my coaching lessons ,though i live in an unsuitable place
me: How much do you need?
smoothysilk82: 80,000 NAIRA FOR INTENSIVE COACHING
me: How much is that in American Dollars?
smoothysilk82: almost a 1000 dollars
me: I tell you what since we came from similar backgrounds even though my fingers were gnawed of by alligators when I was 15. I've give you $2,500. But what do I get in return?
smoothysilk82: i want to work under u too
smoothysilk82: anything u want me to do for u
me: Oh, Really like what?
me: Please tell me.
smoothysilk82: i want to come and help u grow too
me: Are you a man or a woman?
me: Sorry for asking but you haven't told me yet.
smoothysilk82: am a man
me: Do you have pic?
smoothysilk82: yes i do
smoothysilk82: its in my website
me: Can you share with me?
smoothysilk82: www.nnamysworld.8m.com
me: I don't see it.
me: Where is it?
smoothysilk82: can u see wat silky brings as one of the pages
me: Can you send it to me through your instant messagener?
smoothysilk82: but its there
smoothysilk82: i want u to see it
smoothysilk82: then see me on cam too
Me: OK turn it on.
Me: That's OK just describe yourself to me.
smoothysilk82: i am tall
smoothysilk82: 5,9 ft
smoothysilk82: very fair
smoothysilk82: black hair
smoothysilk82: can u see me now
Me: Yes I can
smoothysilk82: ok
Me: You're cute!
smoothysilk82: oh thanks
Me: No problem. I want you to have sex me.
smoothysilk82: sure when i come over
Me: Are you kinky?
smoothysilk82: wat does that mean
Me: Do you like doing unusal things during sex.
smoothysilk82: like wat
Me: Well.....I am really into a guy that can eat his own urine and feces.
kuroitachibana: That really turns me on.
smoothysilk82: ok
Me: I also like watching a guy squat over and go to bathroom al over me.
smoothysilk82: oh yea
Me: What does it taste like?
Me: I'm curious.
smoothysilk82: i havent tried it,but wil like to try it
Me: I might go there and see you. I've always wanted to suck a giraffe's dick.
smoothysilk82: oh yea
Me: Have you ever done that?
smoothysilk82: yes i have
Me: Really? What was like? Please be as detailed and as graphic as possible.
Me: I'd really like to know.
smoothysilk82: succulent
Me: really? What else was it like.
smoothysilk82: a bit salty but slimy interesting
Me: Wow! sounds like fun. How big was the giraffe's penis?
Me: If you can tell me.
Me: Wow if you are this fun to be with I might give you $5,000.
smoothysilk82: oh res i am
Me: Have you ever stuck your penis in exhaust pipe?
smoothysilk82: no
Me: That's very fun. Have you ever pooped your pants?
Me: Throwing up on yourself is also a huge turn on. I really am turned on by a guy that can throw-up split green pea soup.
smoothysilk82: ok
Me: What kind of things do you like sexually?
smoothysilk82: sucking the dick andanal sex
Me: What kinds of animals do you like to have sex with?
smoothysilk82: the dog
Me: Really? What's the breed of the dog?
smoothysilk82: shitsho
Me: Wow man! Shitsu really turn me. I'm getting wet right now thinking about it. Man you are hot!
smoothysilk82: yes i am
Me: How big is your dick?
Me: Or better yet maybe you can show it to me on your web cam.
smoothysilk82: am not sure u want to help me
Me: Of course I'll help but in America you can't get something for nothing. You have to earn it. I'd like to know your address though so I can send you the money.
Me: Eventually.
Me: I'll tell you what I'll give you $7,500 if you can shit for me on the webcam.
smoothysilk82: am in a cafe and there are many people here,if i have my own system at home i can do that,cos i am gay to
Me: What's wrong with being gay in Africa?
smoothysilk82: nothing,its cool being gay cos i am
Me: So you won't pee on the monitor for me?
smoothysilk82: this place is a big cafe,so many people here
kuroitachibana: I guess $7,500 isn't worth it. How much would you do it for?
smoothysilk82: i would do it in a friends house ok,hehas a pc at his house
Me: I don't know. I'm losing intrest fast. I might not be in a generous mood by then.
Me: If you do it now I'll give you $10,000.
smoothysilk82: i will do it,i promise u
Me: Then do it now while I am still horny.
smoothysilk82: not now
Me: C'mon. They won't do anything to you.
Me: I promise.
smoothysilk82: they will
Me: So what if they do. They just let you go. It's not that big of a deal. Alot of people shit in the middle of a cafe for people they like.
Me: Why won't you do it?
smoothysilk82: its different in africa and u have to understand this
Me: It's a international custom. When you come to America you see alot of people taking a shit in the middle of a cafe. In matter of fact some people clap and whistle.
smoothysilk82: ok,help me come so that we can do it together
Me: But I might not be in the mood tomorrow.
Me: Oh yeah after you take a dump on the web cam for me I want you to eat it. OK?
Me: I can't believe I'm in such a generous mood. I'll give you $25,000 if you do it right now.
Me: How much will it take to see your brown.
smoothysilk82: u just dont understand the tradition here
Me: You can break new ground by creating new tradition. One that would be embraced by the public around you.
Me: Trust me. You can do it.
smoothysilk82: where is ur cam
Me: It's broken at the moment. But I can get a new one tomorrow. Why you want to see me do it in the middle of cafe? I've done it many times before.
Me: I've also have had many people come up and help themselves to my droppings afterwards.
Me: It's considered a delicacy.
Me: Tell me what your address is so I can give you part of the money now.
smoothysilk82: how do u want to send it
Me: I'll mail t to your address.
smoothysilk82: we dont do that here
smoothysilk82: money is sent thru western union
Me: I don't like sending Western Union. They are pains in the asses. They want your ID and all of these various bullcrap which is quite tasty to since we are on the subject of eating crap. Let me just mail it to your home address.
Me: Western Union is too much hassel.
smoothysilk82: i think we have to stop this discussion
Me: If you want it bad enough I send through western union. I just don't like the people that work there. Tell me your information.
smoothysilk82: how much are u sending
Me: How much would like me to send?
smoothysilk82: i just need 1800
Me: I'll give you a even $100,000. Now what's your information so I can send it to you.
smoothysilk82: i dont need that
Me: Are you sure? I have plenty of money and nobody to spend it.
smoothysilk82: dont worry
smoothysilk82: i see u dont want to help
Me: I do I just want to know what is the maximum amount of money I can send to you.
Me: I want to send as much money I can to help you out after all both of our parents our dead.
Me: Should I just send $1,800
Me: Because all I want to do is make you happy.
Me: Are you still there?
Me: By the way I know you were trying to scam me. Ba Ba Booey. You know what you look like to me with your cheap bag and bad shoes you look like a rube. A well scrub hussling rube. Good nutrition has givin you good legnth of bone but you are not two generation too far removed from poor white trash and oh how the boys loved you with the tedious sticky fumblings in the backseats of cars. Dreaming of getting everywhere, dreaming of getting anywhere even all the way to the F.B.I.
If you liked that one wait 'till you see the next conversation.
Me (6:29:42 PM): YEp
mabell4ever (6:29:54 PM): i m lincoln
mabell4ever (6:29:56 PM): u?
Me (6:30:04 PM): My name is ********
mabell4ever (6:30:22 PM): ok
Me (6:30:23 PM): Where are you from?
mabell4ever (6:30:37 PM): u?
mabell4ever (6:30:37 PM): uk
Me (6:30:56 PM): cool. How did you find out about me?
mabell4ever (6:31:17 PM): at yahoopersonnel
Me (6:31:26 PM): oh. cool.
Me (6:31:43 PM): What part of the UK do you hail from?
mabell4ever (6:32:04 PM): liverpool
mabell4ever (6:32:07 PM): u?
Me (6:32:21 PM): I'm in Southern California.
mabell4ever (6:32:41 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:32:46 PM): can u add me as afriend?
Me (6:33:01 PM): sure
mabell4ever (6:33:19 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:33:42 PM): tell me abouturself?
Me (6:34:05 PM): Well I'm a young man from Souther California and you?
mabell4ever (6:34:34 PM): i m 28 uk
mabell4ever (6:34:45 PM): what did u do for a living?
Me (6:35:25 PM): If you don't mind me for asking but can I see a picture?
mabell4ever (6:35:46 PM): yes
mabell4ever (6:35:50 PM): is not with me here
mabell4ever (6:35:56 PM): cos i m using cafe
mabell4ever (6:36:06 PM): i add a problem with my pc
Me (6:36:09 PM): Are you a man or woman?
mabell4ever (6:36:41 PM): woman
Me (6:37:35 PM): Oh I see. As to a answer to you earlier question I am retired from silicon valley. I'm a multi-millionaire computer programmer.
mabell4ever (6:38:12 PM): really?
Me (6:38:23 PM): Yeah I'm worth ten million
mabell4ever (6:38:30 PM): can u get me a p3 PC
Me (6:38:40 PM): Maybe.
Me (6:38:49 PM): What do you need it for?
mabell4ever (6:39:25 PM): for surfing and practical
Me (6:39:50 PM): I see. Well I have to know more about you first.
Me (6:40:06 PM): Tell me more about yourself.
mabell4ever (6:40:42 PM): i m friendly
mabell4ever (6:40:42 PM): i m a beatiful lady
mabell4ever (6:40:47 PM): u?
Me (6:41:22 PM): Well right now I'm typing to you from my cotton plantation from Southern California. I have a huge estate with many many workers.
mabell4ever (6:41:52 PM): really?
Me (6:42:43 PM): Yes you would love it there. In matter of fact all of my workers stay here on my property were like a little family. I take care of them well and they take care of me well as well.
mabell4ever (6:43:23 PM): really?
Me (6:44:07 PM): Yes in matter of fact I hire alot of imigrants from Africa mostly countries ferom the west cost like Nigeria.
mabell4ever (6:44:32 PM): in fact i hv a brother that studed estate management
mabell4ever (6:44:36 PM): ok
Me (6:44:43 PM): Really?
Me (6:44:49 PM): Tell me about him.
mabell4ever (6:44:50 PM): i m 4rm nigeria too
Me (6:44:55 PM): Really?
mabell4ever (6:44:57 PM): i just live in uk
Me (6:45:15 PM): Wow I'm shocked. Well you would be just at home here
mabell4ever (6:45:16 PM): yes
Me (6:45:35 PM): Then you must come at my estate sometime.
mabell4ever (6:45:55 PM): were is that?
Me (6:46:29 PM): In California. It's very huge and there is alot of cotton for the "Workers" to pick.
mabell4ever (6:46:46 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:46:49 PM): can u invite me?
Me (6:47:37 PM): Sure. Although I've had a problem with my workers lately. Whenever they get out of control I have to whip them back into line.
mabell4ever (6:48:06 PM): ok
Me (6:48:08 PM): Just a human resources problem.
mabell4ever (6:48:16 PM): can u invite me?
Me (6:48:26 PM): Do you like Watermelon and fried chicken?
Me (6:48:53 PM): That's what my workers love to eat.
mabell4ever (6:49:04 PM): yes
Me (6:49:35 PM): Sure you can come then. Have you ever bailed cotton before? You'll love it. It's fun.
mabell4ever (6:50:04 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:50:08 PM): but there is a problem
Me (6:50:13 PM): What is that?
mabell4ever (6:50:41 PM): i need money to come there
Me (6:51:10 PM): Well on one condition.
mabell4ever (6:51:26 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:51:26 PM): tell me
Me (6:51:38 PM): Are you good with children?
Me (6:52:31 PM): I need a little help
mabell4ever (6:52:51 PM): yes
mabell4ever (6:52:59 PM): i love children a lot
Me (6:53:19 PM): Good. Good.
Me (6:53:32 PM): Are you good at sewing by any chance?
mabell4ever (6:53:55 PM): yes.i doubt a lot
Me (6:54:18 PM): Good. Well how soon can you come here?
mabell4ever (6:54:53 PM): it depend on money to proces the travelling
Me (6:55:31 PM): Ah crap. Please pardon me a minute but one of my workers is getting out of line.
mabell4ever (6:56:20 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:56:25 PM): i wait
Me (6:58:53 PM): Mam. You've got to help me this man is crazy.
mabell4ever (6:59:21 PM): who?
Me (7:00:47 PM): I'm a nigerian from Kano and I was kidnapped by this man. I distracted him for a couple minutes. He told me about going America about getting a job when it happend.
mabell4ever (7:01:15 PM): eh..eh
Me (7:01:50 PM): He kidnapped me and now I'm forced at gunpoint to pick cotton from his plantation all day. I really miss my family.
Me (7:02:05 PM): I want to get out. Please help. Help me now.
mabell4ever (7:02:19 PM): ok
mabell4ever (7:02:29 PM): send me money
Me (7:02:49 PM): If he finds me here he'll kill me. Help me. Call somebody anybody.
Me (7:02:56 PM): Oh my God!
Me (7:03:11 PM): He's got a chainsaw.
Me (7:03:16 PM): Help!
mabell4ever (7:03:29 PM): u crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy
Me (7:04:04 PM): Oh. I'm sorry about that problem. One of my workers used to the computer without my permission and I had to dispose of him.
Me (7:04:26 PM): Man I got blood all over my nice computer now.
mabell4ever (7:04:28 PM): really
mabell4ever (7:04:43 PM): really
Me (7:05:09 PM): Well of course what else was I to do.
Me (7:05:26 PM): Awe I got blood on my hushpuppies.
mabell4ever (7:05:44 PM): i need money to procees the the travelling
Me (7:06:17 PM): Ah yes you still want to come here. Please pardon me another second while dispose the body.
Me (7:07:04 PM): There. So you where should I mail the ticket too.
mabell4ever (7:07:33 PM): which ticket?
Me (7:08:08 PM): You know the plane ticket. Oh no there was a witness. Let me get my chainsaw and I'll be back in a second.
Me (7:09:13 PM): OK now since I got rid of that problem where should I mail that ticket too?
mabell4ever (7:09:49 PM): i will send the address
Me (7:10:11 PM): OK. Sorry but it's hard to see with the blood on my glasses
mabell4ever (7:10:13 PM): but i need money to proceess my international passport
Me (7:11:32 PM): Don't you already have one of those? Wait a sec another one of my slaves are getting out of line. Time to bring out Mr. chainsaw.
Me (7:11:42 PM): Be back in a sec.
mabell4ever (7:11:55 PM): ok
Me (7:13:17 PM): Man that was a messy one. I hope you like a man in red clothes. So why do you need money? If you are from Nigeria you already have a passport.
mabell4ever (7:14:09 PM): i lost it
Me (7:14:13 PM): Oh yaeh can you dig with a shovel? I need a woman you can dig holes really bad.
Me (7:14:20 PM): Big deep holes.
Me (7:14:47 PM): One that would cover the stench of a rotting corpse.
mabell4ever (7:14:52 PM): can u help to send little amount?
Me (7:15:01 PM): How?
mabell4ever (7:15:27 PM): send just $250 to procees it
Me (7:15:58 PM): You know what since you've been so nice how about I send you $100,000 for your trouble.
mabell4ever (7:16:18 PM): ok
mabell4ever (7:16:28 PM): make it $200
kuroitachibana (7:16:28 PM): Do you know how to get blood stains of a shirt?
Me (7:16:44 PM): It's in there really good.
mabell4ever (7:17:01 PM): so
mabell4ever (7:18:09 PM): hello
Me (7:18:10 PM): Where do I send the money?
Me (7:18:23 PM): I send it through the post.
Me (7:18:28 PM): If that's OK?
mabell4ever (7:18:35 PM): no
mabell4ever (7:18:44 PM): western union money trasfer
mabell4ever (7:18:59 PM): so by monday i can recieve it
Me (7:19:14 PM): They are pains in the ass.
Me (7:19:29 PM): Let me come there and give it to you myself.
Me (7:19:51 PM): that way I can introduce you to mister chainsaw.
mabell4ever (7:20:08 PM): to were?
Me (7:20:33 PM): Where you are of course. We could chat over some kiante and some fava beans.
Me (7:21:28 PM): Hello
mabell4ever (7:21:43 PM): yes
Me (7:22:04 PM): Well what to you say let me come there and we can visit.
Me (7:22:24 PM): ok
Mabell4ever (7:22:24 PM): call me now
Me (7:23:17 PM): Let me come over there now. I could be there by morning.
mabell4ever (7:23:39 PM): call me234-8025487548
Me (7:24:26 PM): Are you familiar with Phil Hendrie?
Me (7:24:55 PM): Just wondering?
Me (7:25:14 PM): hello.
mabell4ever (7:25:36 PM): hi
Me (7:25:57 PM): How familar are you with computers?
mabell4ever (7:26:23 PM): i dont hv
Me (7:27:11 PM): You know People can track other people using computers and figure out where they are. Are you familiar with M-5?
mabell4ever (7:27:35 PM): no
Me (7:29:08 PM): Well it's a well known agency that spies on people in the UK. Lately people have been complaining about people from Nigeria stealing their money through the UK. Righ now we have agents that will be detaining you in about 5 minutes.
Me (7:29:11 PM): Do you know what you look like to me with your good bag and bad shoes. You look like a rube a well scrubed hustling rube. Good nutrition has given you length of bone but you are not two generations too far removed from poor white trash and oh how the boys loved you. With all of those tideous sticky fumblings in the back seats. Dreaming of getting anywhere getting everywhere. All the way to the F.B.I.
Me (7:29:30 PM): By the time you read that you will have been detained.
Me (7:31:46 PM): >
If you have any good stories about these idiots please share it. I love fooling these douche bags whenever I can.
smoothysilk82: hello nice one how are u doing,i live in africa,u care for a chat?
Me: Sure why not.
smoothysilk82: how are u
Me: I am fine
smoothysilk82: how old are u
Me: I am 28
Me: and you?
smoothysilk82: am 26
Me: I see
smoothysilk82: wat do u do for living
Me: I am Video Game Programmer. I am quite famous here.
Me: at least in this community.
smoothysilk82: thats lovely
smoothysilk82: i live in africa
Me: I see. what part of Africa?
smoothysilk82: nigeria
Me: What part of Nigeria?
Me: if you don't mind me asking.
smoothysilk82: abuja
Me: I see.
smoothysilk82: u know about my country
Me: a little bit. I once knew someone from Nigeria.
smoothysilk82: really
Me: Yeah. He was a big pain in the ass. Not very nice.
smoothysilk82: really
smoothysilk82: u mt him there?
smoothysilk82: or here
Me: Nope here in America.
smoothysilk82: oh ok
smoothysilk82: so u work for play station or something
Me: Actually I work for an American division of Konami.
Me: My next project is with Hideo Kojima who is one of the biggest video game designers in the world. I'm going to make $5 million on it. I'm so happy.
smoothysilk82: thats nice
Me: Although I don't need it I already have several million.
smoothysilk82: ok
smoothysilk82: well my name is charles,i studied applied physics in the university and i want to learn about the stuffs like u do
Me: Really? Like what?
smoothysilk82: chips and programming
smoothysilk82: and i need up help cos i dont have a job
me: Really what kind of help?
smoothysilk82: i am very poor,a very intelligent student but i want to be like u
me: Well that is flattering. I appreciate the compliment.
smoothysilk82: ok
me: How can I be of help?
smoothysilk82: i want to go for some coaching here but i dont have the money for it,my father is dead,ll i have is my mom
me: Sorry to hear that.
me: You must have had a hard life.
smoothysilk82: oh yes but i was one of the best in the university
me: Good for you. I'm proud of you.
smoothysilk82: thank u so much
me: I came from a very simmiliar background.
me: Both of my parents are dead and I was molested at the orpaned that I was at by a lesibein. Then when I was 10 I got ran over by a car and had both of my legs amputated but now I am very rich.
me: I completly understand how you feel.
me: I'll try to help you the best way I can.
me: What do you need?
smoothysilk82: some money to go for my coaching lessons ,though i live in an unsuitable place
me: How much do you need?
smoothysilk82: 80,000 NAIRA FOR INTENSIVE COACHING
me: How much is that in American Dollars?
smoothysilk82: almost a 1000 dollars
me: I tell you what since we came from similar backgrounds even though my fingers were gnawed of by alligators when I was 15. I've give you $2,500. But what do I get in return?
smoothysilk82: i want to work under u too
smoothysilk82: anything u want me to do for u
me: Oh, Really like what?
me: Please tell me.
smoothysilk82: i want to come and help u grow too
me: Are you a man or a woman?
me: Sorry for asking but you haven't told me yet.
smoothysilk82: am a man
me: Do you have pic?
smoothysilk82: yes i do
smoothysilk82: its in my website
me: Can you share with me?
smoothysilk82: www.nnamysworld.8m.com
me: I don't see it.
me: Where is it?
smoothysilk82: can u see wat silky brings as one of the pages
me: Can you send it to me through your instant messagener?
smoothysilk82: but its there
smoothysilk82: i want u to see it
smoothysilk82: then see me on cam too
Me: OK turn it on.
Me: That's OK just describe yourself to me.
smoothysilk82: i am tall
smoothysilk82: 5,9 ft
smoothysilk82: very fair
smoothysilk82: black hair
smoothysilk82: can u see me now
Me: Yes I can
smoothysilk82: ok
Me: You're cute!
smoothysilk82: oh thanks
Me: No problem. I want you to have sex me.
smoothysilk82: sure when i come over
Me: Are you kinky?
smoothysilk82: wat does that mean
Me: Do you like doing unusal things during sex.
smoothysilk82: like wat
Me: Well.....I am really into a guy that can eat his own urine and feces.
kuroitachibana: That really turns me on.
smoothysilk82: ok
Me: I also like watching a guy squat over and go to bathroom al over me.
smoothysilk82: oh yea
Me: What does it taste like?
Me: I'm curious.
smoothysilk82: i havent tried it,but wil like to try it
Me: I might go there and see you. I've always wanted to suck a giraffe's dick.
smoothysilk82: oh yea
Me: Have you ever done that?
smoothysilk82: yes i have
Me: Really? What was like? Please be as detailed and as graphic as possible.
Me: I'd really like to know.
smoothysilk82: succulent
Me: really? What else was it like.
smoothysilk82: a bit salty but slimy interesting
Me: Wow! sounds like fun. How big was the giraffe's penis?
Me: If you can tell me.
Me: Wow if you are this fun to be with I might give you $5,000.
smoothysilk82: oh res i am
Me: Have you ever stuck your penis in exhaust pipe?
smoothysilk82: no
Me: That's very fun. Have you ever pooped your pants?
Me: Throwing up on yourself is also a huge turn on. I really am turned on by a guy that can throw-up split green pea soup.
smoothysilk82: ok
Me: What kind of things do you like sexually?
smoothysilk82: sucking the dick andanal sex
Me: What kinds of animals do you like to have sex with?
smoothysilk82: the dog
Me: Really? What's the breed of the dog?
smoothysilk82: shitsho
Me: Wow man! Shitsu really turn me. I'm getting wet right now thinking about it. Man you are hot!
smoothysilk82: yes i am
Me: How big is your dick?
Me: Or better yet maybe you can show it to me on your web cam.
smoothysilk82: am not sure u want to help me
Me: Of course I'll help but in America you can't get something for nothing. You have to earn it. I'd like to know your address though so I can send you the money.
Me: Eventually.
Me: I'll tell you what I'll give you $7,500 if you can shit for me on the webcam.
smoothysilk82: am in a cafe and there are many people here,if i have my own system at home i can do that,cos i am gay to
Me: What's wrong with being gay in Africa?
smoothysilk82: nothing,its cool being gay cos i am
Me: So you won't pee on the monitor for me?
smoothysilk82: this place is a big cafe,so many people here
kuroitachibana: I guess $7,500 isn't worth it. How much would you do it for?
smoothysilk82: i would do it in a friends house ok,hehas a pc at his house
Me: I don't know. I'm losing intrest fast. I might not be in a generous mood by then.
Me: If you do it now I'll give you $10,000.
smoothysilk82: i will do it,i promise u
Me: Then do it now while I am still horny.
smoothysilk82: not now
Me: C'mon. They won't do anything to you.
Me: I promise.
smoothysilk82: they will
Me: So what if they do. They just let you go. It's not that big of a deal. Alot of people shit in the middle of a cafe for people they like.
Me: Why won't you do it?
smoothysilk82: its different in africa and u have to understand this
Me: It's a international custom. When you come to America you see alot of people taking a shit in the middle of a cafe. In matter of fact some people clap and whistle.
smoothysilk82: ok,help me come so that we can do it together
Me: But I might not be in the mood tomorrow.
Me: Oh yeah after you take a dump on the web cam for me I want you to eat it. OK?
Me: I can't believe I'm in such a generous mood. I'll give you $25,000 if you do it right now.
Me: How much will it take to see your brown.
smoothysilk82: u just dont understand the tradition here
Me: You can break new ground by creating new tradition. One that would be embraced by the public around you.
Me: Trust me. You can do it.
smoothysilk82: where is ur cam
Me: It's broken at the moment. But I can get a new one tomorrow. Why you want to see me do it in the middle of cafe? I've done it many times before.
Me: I've also have had many people come up and help themselves to my droppings afterwards.
Me: It's considered a delicacy.
Me: Tell me what your address is so I can give you part of the money now.
smoothysilk82: how do u want to send it
Me: I'll mail t to your address.
smoothysilk82: we dont do that here
smoothysilk82: money is sent thru western union
Me: I don't like sending Western Union. They are pains in the asses. They want your ID and all of these various bullcrap which is quite tasty to since we are on the subject of eating crap. Let me just mail it to your home address.
Me: Western Union is too much hassel.
smoothysilk82: i think we have to stop this discussion
Me: If you want it bad enough I send through western union. I just don't like the people that work there. Tell me your information.
smoothysilk82: how much are u sending
Me: How much would like me to send?
smoothysilk82: i just need 1800
Me: I'll give you a even $100,000. Now what's your information so I can send it to you.
smoothysilk82: i dont need that
Me: Are you sure? I have plenty of money and nobody to spend it.
smoothysilk82: dont worry
smoothysilk82: i see u dont want to help
Me: I do I just want to know what is the maximum amount of money I can send to you.
Me: I want to send as much money I can to help you out after all both of our parents our dead.
Me: Should I just send $1,800
Me: Because all I want to do is make you happy.
Me: Are you still there?
Me: By the way I know you were trying to scam me. Ba Ba Booey. You know what you look like to me with your cheap bag and bad shoes you look like a rube. A well scrub hussling rube. Good nutrition has givin you good legnth of bone but you are not two generation too far removed from poor white trash and oh how the boys loved you with the tedious sticky fumblings in the backseats of cars. Dreaming of getting everywhere, dreaming of getting anywhere even all the way to the F.B.I.
If you liked that one wait 'till you see the next conversation.
Me (6:29:42 PM): YEp
mabell4ever (6:29:54 PM): i m lincoln
mabell4ever (6:29:56 PM): u?
Me (6:30:04 PM): My name is ********
mabell4ever (6:30:22 PM): ok
Me (6:30:23 PM): Where are you from?
mabell4ever (6:30:37 PM): u?
mabell4ever (6:30:37 PM): uk
Me (6:30:56 PM): cool. How did you find out about me?
mabell4ever (6:31:17 PM): at yahoopersonnel
Me (6:31:26 PM): oh. cool.
Me (6:31:43 PM): What part of the UK do you hail from?
mabell4ever (6:32:04 PM): liverpool
mabell4ever (6:32:07 PM): u?
Me (6:32:21 PM): I'm in Southern California.
mabell4ever (6:32:41 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:32:46 PM): can u add me as afriend?
Me (6:33:01 PM): sure
mabell4ever (6:33:19 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:33:42 PM): tell me abouturself?
Me (6:34:05 PM): Well I'm a young man from Souther California and you?
mabell4ever (6:34:34 PM): i m 28 uk
mabell4ever (6:34:45 PM): what did u do for a living?
Me (6:35:25 PM): If you don't mind me for asking but can I see a picture?
mabell4ever (6:35:46 PM): yes
mabell4ever (6:35:50 PM): is not with me here
mabell4ever (6:35:56 PM): cos i m using cafe
mabell4ever (6:36:06 PM): i add a problem with my pc
Me (6:36:09 PM): Are you a man or woman?
mabell4ever (6:36:41 PM): woman
Me (6:37:35 PM): Oh I see. As to a answer to you earlier question I am retired from silicon valley. I'm a multi-millionaire computer programmer.
mabell4ever (6:38:12 PM): really?
Me (6:38:23 PM): Yeah I'm worth ten million
mabell4ever (6:38:30 PM): can u get me a p3 PC
Me (6:38:40 PM): Maybe.
Me (6:38:49 PM): What do you need it for?
mabell4ever (6:39:25 PM): for surfing and practical
Me (6:39:50 PM): I see. Well I have to know more about you first.
Me (6:40:06 PM): Tell me more about yourself.
mabell4ever (6:40:42 PM): i m friendly
mabell4ever (6:40:42 PM): i m a beatiful lady
mabell4ever (6:40:47 PM): u?
Me (6:41:22 PM): Well right now I'm typing to you from my cotton plantation from Southern California. I have a huge estate with many many workers.
mabell4ever (6:41:52 PM): really?
Me (6:42:43 PM): Yes you would love it there. In matter of fact all of my workers stay here on my property were like a little family. I take care of them well and they take care of me well as well.
mabell4ever (6:43:23 PM): really?
Me (6:44:07 PM): Yes in matter of fact I hire alot of imigrants from Africa mostly countries ferom the west cost like Nigeria.
mabell4ever (6:44:32 PM): in fact i hv a brother that studed estate management
mabell4ever (6:44:36 PM): ok
Me (6:44:43 PM): Really?
Me (6:44:49 PM): Tell me about him.
mabell4ever (6:44:50 PM): i m 4rm nigeria too
Me (6:44:55 PM): Really?
mabell4ever (6:44:57 PM): i just live in uk
Me (6:45:15 PM): Wow I'm shocked. Well you would be just at home here
mabell4ever (6:45:16 PM): yes
Me (6:45:35 PM): Then you must come at my estate sometime.
mabell4ever (6:45:55 PM): were is that?
Me (6:46:29 PM): In California. It's very huge and there is alot of cotton for the "Workers" to pick.
mabell4ever (6:46:46 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:46:49 PM): can u invite me?
Me (6:47:37 PM): Sure. Although I've had a problem with my workers lately. Whenever they get out of control I have to whip them back into line.
mabell4ever (6:48:06 PM): ok
Me (6:48:08 PM): Just a human resources problem.
mabell4ever (6:48:16 PM): can u invite me?
Me (6:48:26 PM): Do you like Watermelon and fried chicken?
Me (6:48:53 PM): That's what my workers love to eat.
mabell4ever (6:49:04 PM): yes
Me (6:49:35 PM): Sure you can come then. Have you ever bailed cotton before? You'll love it. It's fun.
mabell4ever (6:50:04 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:50:08 PM): but there is a problem
Me (6:50:13 PM): What is that?
mabell4ever (6:50:41 PM): i need money to come there
Me (6:51:10 PM): Well on one condition.
mabell4ever (6:51:26 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:51:26 PM): tell me
Me (6:51:38 PM): Are you good with children?
Me (6:52:31 PM): I need a little help
mabell4ever (6:52:51 PM): yes
mabell4ever (6:52:59 PM): i love children a lot
Me (6:53:19 PM): Good. Good.
Me (6:53:32 PM): Are you good at sewing by any chance?
mabell4ever (6:53:55 PM): yes.i doubt a lot
Me (6:54:18 PM): Good. Well how soon can you come here?
mabell4ever (6:54:53 PM): it depend on money to proces the travelling
Me (6:55:31 PM): Ah crap. Please pardon me a minute but one of my workers is getting out of line.
mabell4ever (6:56:20 PM): ok
mabell4ever (6:56:25 PM): i wait
Me (6:58:53 PM): Mam. You've got to help me this man is crazy.
mabell4ever (6:59:21 PM): who?
Me (7:00:47 PM): I'm a nigerian from Kano and I was kidnapped by this man. I distracted him for a couple minutes. He told me about going America about getting a job when it happend.
mabell4ever (7:01:15 PM): eh..eh
Me (7:01:50 PM): He kidnapped me and now I'm forced at gunpoint to pick cotton from his plantation all day. I really miss my family.
Me (7:02:05 PM): I want to get out. Please help. Help me now.
mabell4ever (7:02:19 PM): ok
mabell4ever (7:02:29 PM): send me money
Me (7:02:49 PM): If he finds me here he'll kill me. Help me. Call somebody anybody.
Me (7:02:56 PM): Oh my God!
Me (7:03:11 PM): He's got a chainsaw.
Me (7:03:16 PM): Help!
mabell4ever (7:03:29 PM): u crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy
Me (7:04:04 PM): Oh. I'm sorry about that problem. One of my workers used to the computer without my permission and I had to dispose of him.
Me (7:04:26 PM): Man I got blood all over my nice computer now.
mabell4ever (7:04:28 PM): really
mabell4ever (7:04:43 PM): really
Me (7:05:09 PM): Well of course what else was I to do.
Me (7:05:26 PM): Awe I got blood on my hushpuppies.
mabell4ever (7:05:44 PM): i need money to procees the the travelling
Me (7:06:17 PM): Ah yes you still want to come here. Please pardon me another second while dispose the body.
Me (7:07:04 PM): There. So you where should I mail the ticket too.
mabell4ever (7:07:33 PM): which ticket?
Me (7:08:08 PM): You know the plane ticket. Oh no there was a witness. Let me get my chainsaw and I'll be back in a second.
Me (7:09:13 PM): OK now since I got rid of that problem where should I mail that ticket too?
mabell4ever (7:09:49 PM): i will send the address
Me (7:10:11 PM): OK. Sorry but it's hard to see with the blood on my glasses
mabell4ever (7:10:13 PM): but i need money to proceess my international passport
Me (7:11:32 PM): Don't you already have one of those? Wait a sec another one of my slaves are getting out of line. Time to bring out Mr. chainsaw.
Me (7:11:42 PM): Be back in a sec.
mabell4ever (7:11:55 PM): ok
Me (7:13:17 PM): Man that was a messy one. I hope you like a man in red clothes. So why do you need money? If you are from Nigeria you already have a passport.
mabell4ever (7:14:09 PM): i lost it
Me (7:14:13 PM): Oh yaeh can you dig with a shovel? I need a woman you can dig holes really bad.
Me (7:14:20 PM): Big deep holes.
Me (7:14:47 PM): One that would cover the stench of a rotting corpse.
mabell4ever (7:14:52 PM): can u help to send little amount?
Me (7:15:01 PM): How?
mabell4ever (7:15:27 PM): send just $250 to procees it
Me (7:15:58 PM): You know what since you've been so nice how about I send you $100,000 for your trouble.
mabell4ever (7:16:18 PM): ok
mabell4ever (7:16:28 PM): make it $200
kuroitachibana (7:16:28 PM): Do you know how to get blood stains of a shirt?
Me (7:16:44 PM): It's in there really good.
mabell4ever (7:17:01 PM): so
mabell4ever (7:18:09 PM): hello
Me (7:18:10 PM): Where do I send the money?
Me (7:18:23 PM): I send it through the post.
Me (7:18:28 PM): If that's OK?
mabell4ever (7:18:35 PM): no
mabell4ever (7:18:44 PM): western union money trasfer
mabell4ever (7:18:59 PM): so by monday i can recieve it
Me (7:19:14 PM): They are pains in the ass.
Me (7:19:29 PM): Let me come there and give it to you myself.
Me (7:19:51 PM): that way I can introduce you to mister chainsaw.
mabell4ever (7:20:08 PM): to were?
Me (7:20:33 PM): Where you are of course. We could chat over some kiante and some fava beans.
Me (7:21:28 PM): Hello
mabell4ever (7:21:43 PM): yes
Me (7:22:04 PM): Well what to you say let me come there and we can visit.
Me (7:22:24 PM): ok
Mabell4ever (7:22:24 PM): call me now
Me (7:23:17 PM): Let me come over there now. I could be there by morning.
mabell4ever (7:23:39 PM): call me234-8025487548
Me (7:24:26 PM): Are you familiar with Phil Hendrie?
Me (7:24:55 PM): Just wondering?
Me (7:25:14 PM): hello.
mabell4ever (7:25:36 PM): hi
Me (7:25:57 PM): How familar are you with computers?
mabell4ever (7:26:23 PM): i dont hv
Me (7:27:11 PM): You know People can track other people using computers and figure out where they are. Are you familiar with M-5?
mabell4ever (7:27:35 PM): no
Me (7:29:08 PM): Well it's a well known agency that spies on people in the UK. Lately people have been complaining about people from Nigeria stealing their money through the UK. Righ now we have agents that will be detaining you in about 5 minutes.
Me (7:29:11 PM): Do you know what you look like to me with your good bag and bad shoes. You look like a rube a well scrubed hustling rube. Good nutrition has given you length of bone but you are not two generations too far removed from poor white trash and oh how the boys loved you. With all of those tideous sticky fumblings in the back seats. Dreaming of getting anywhere getting everywhere. All the way to the F.B.I.
Me (7:29:30 PM): By the time you read that you will have been detained.
Me (7:31:46 PM): >
If you have any good stories about these idiots please share it. I love fooling these douche bags whenever I can.