Great lines from people other than Phil Hendrie

[westernestates]

"You'll be home in time for a blow job and a bologne sandwhich." - Mike Toreno (Character from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas V.O. by James woods)

[KungFuJesus]

Why don't you stick your head out a window-- feet first?

-- unknown

[Shoot Out A Log]

Go play in traffic

--unknown

[Belasco]

"You know the Nazis had "pieces of flair", but they made the Jews wear them." -- Peter, Office Space

"Watch out for you cornhole, bud." -- Laurence, Office Space

...hell large portions of the Office Space screen play could be posted here. [/i]

[WaferTrash]

Three from the Jim Rome show:

Jim Rome on the guy who got killed trying to have sex with a horse: "neigh means no".

Dolphin-honk email on the Cialis commercial showing a guy trying to throw a football through a tire: "why don't they just show him throwing a salami at a can of tuna? At an open-faced roast beef sandwich?"

Terrance from Sierra Madre on WNBA attendance: "They got it backwards: it wasn't 18,000 in attendance and only 23 turnovers, it was 18,000 turnovers and 23 in attendance on 'other mommy gets in free' night."

[the deta]

Three from the Jim Rome show:

Jim Rome on the guy who got killed trying to have sex with a horse: "neigh means no".

Dolphin-honk email on the Cialis commercial showing a guy trying to throw a football through a tire: "why don't they just show him throwing a salami at a can of tuna? At an open-faced roast beef sandwich?"

Terrance from Sierra Madre on WNBA attendance: "They got it backwards: it wasn't 18,000 in attendance and only 23 turnovers, it was 18,000 turnovers and 23 in attendance on 'other mommy gets in free' night."


Holy Jesus i havent listened to rome in along time... But i remember the open face-faced roast beef sandwich. That was hillarious, i remember how ever email after that refered to any playing like pussy in such manner. it woud would be like

Dear Jim.

The dodgers are playing like a bunch of open faced rast beef sandwiches.

[SeeAndAvoid]

Hey, glad to see an Office Space reference, great flick.

"Do you have sand in your vagina?" ...Eric Cartman

"Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol" ... from "Airplane"

"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever" ...David St. Hubbins "Spinal Tap"

Chris

[Belasco]

During the debates for the Democratic Presidential nomination in 2004, Al Sharpton was giving Howard Dean a hard time about having few minorities in his cabinet as Governor of Vermont. Dean's response was to site the list of endorsements he had received thusfar from groups like the NAACP, Congressional Black Caucus, etc. I'm no fan of Sharpton, but I nearly lost my mud when he fired back at Dean with, "You only need a co-signer when your credit is bad." I immediately thought of Pastor William Rennick.

[Clint Yeastwood]

"You know the Nazis had "pieces of flair", but they made the Jews wear them." -- Peter, Office Space

"Watch out for you cornhole, bud." -- Laurence, Office Space

...hell large portions of the Office Space screen play could be posted here. [/i]

office space > *

[ricola]

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone.... but they've always worked for me.

--Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

[lawyer said write it down]

Bill Murry in What about Bob : Pile it high and deep.
Monty Python: Murder Is just an extroverted suicide.
And of course The Duke in Big Jake: Your mistake My mistake nobodys mistake anything happens to the boy and Ill blow your damn head off.

[Commandant Harvey Wireman]

I went over for a Blowjob! Your mother was working the concession stand at the Eifel Tower. Paulie Walnuts! The Sopranos!

[The Dude]

The Big Lebowski has some great lines

DUDE: Walter, you can't do that. These guys're like me, they're pacifists. Smokey was a conscientious objector.
WALTER: You know Dude, I myself dabbled with pacifism at one point. Not in Nam, of course--
DUDE: And you know Smokey has emotional problems!
WALTER: You mean... beyond pacifism?

WALTER: Lady, I got buddies who died face-down in the muck so you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!

QUINTANA: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

[the deta]

Ahh yes... i like when he is in that police station with the cop and the cop says something like :

" I dont like your jerk off Clothes. I dont like your jerk off attitude. I dont like your jerk off face. And i dont like you, Jerk Off. "

And its not a line but when the dude flicks the doob at the closed window and procedes to pour the beer on his lap and then smash into that garbage can, Jesus sweet blood of the lamb that is priceless stuff. Labowskie may be my favorite comedy.

[The Dude]

And its not a line but when the dude flicks the doob at the closed window and procedes to pour the beer on his lap and then smash into that garbage can, Jesus sweet blood of the lamb that is priceless stuff. Labowskie may be my favorite comedy.

Oh my God, I laughed so hard that I lost my mud when I saw that for the first time.

[the deta]

Or when he picks up his car from impound , and he is like "WHats that smell?!?!" " and the copp says. " Probably from a bum , maybe slept in the vehicle . Or sometimes they just use it as a toilet and move on."

[planetkpop]

Arrested Development:

Lucille: Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster.

Tobias Fünke: [as Mrs. Featherbottom] O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?
[laughs]
Tobias Fünke: Right, I forgot, here in the States, you call it a *sausage* in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.

Michael Bluth: [calling from prison, taking about his brother, Gob] I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it.
Lucille: You would do that to your brother?
Michael Bluth: I said "cot".

Michael: Oh sure, Lindsay. You're a much better parent - no borders, no limits, oh go ahead, touch the Cornballer...

[hill garbage]

Here are a couple of funny lines from George Carlin:

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and
State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up
enough on their own, so both of them together is
certain death."

"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some
time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You
know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but
I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

[WaferTrash]

"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever" ...David St. Hubbins "Spinal Tap"

What makes that line so funny is the delivery: he can't even think of the word, and somebody else has to finish the sentence for him.

This is my vote for the best line ever delivered on network television, courtesy of "Family Guy":
"I still don't see why we have to cancel our cruise just because our dog's addicted to cocaine".

My favorite Monty Python line would be from "Holy Grail", when King Arthur's trying to explain to a Communist why he's his king, and the Communist says, "True power comes from a mandate from the masses, not from some kind of farcical aquatic ceremony!"

Anyway, I'm going to go look for one of those ATM machines.

[planetkpop]

From the Wild Bunch:

Crazy Lee: Well, how'd you like to kiss my sister's black cat's ass?

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Office space is a great movie, here's a great line from that one.

Main Character says: Has somebody at work ever asked you if you have a 'case of the Mondays?'
Neighbor guy replies: No... Hell No! I beleive you'd get your ass kicked for saying something like that!

Great lines from the movie Dodgeball:

"Go Balls Deep"
"Yeah boy, get up in there all nice and deep-like"
"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood"
"Pepper needs a new pair of shorts"
"Perhaps you'd like to meet my new players? Lazer!... Taser!!! and... mmm... Blazer!!!"
"If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball... come on you pussies!!!"

and the best one-liner in that movie is...

"Fuckin Chuck Norris"
Ben Stiller as White Goodman

[Binx]

Family guy

Lois:Peter, you're such a child

Peter: Well, If I'm a child, you're a pediphile. And I'm not going to stand around here being lectured by a pervert.