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SFJ Special: Dr. P’s Summer News Round #01

Published on July 12, 2014 by in Podcast

Featuring:  Dr. P, Belasco, Booze
Producer: Dr. P 

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Hey guys…  mind if I take up the copter up for the News Round over the summer?  Don’t worry, I’ll have guests.  Like this episode’s special guests.  I can’t tell you who they are here, because our Canadian listeners hate spoilers. 

In our very first news round story, we take to the skies of Kalamazoo, Michigan, a city whose name is only outdone by their local baseball team’s halftime act. Then we go to familiar territory and visit North Korea, and see what naughty China-leader Kim Jong Il, Jr. is up to.  Hint: it’s some of the worst torture his people have ever been put through.  And finally, we end up in another familiar place for News Round stories, the sunshine state of Florida.  But this time, we aren’t talking about Port-a-John campers or meth addicts with guns up their lady parts.  Nope, we explore why the state is so popular with retirees, and learn that this even applies to monkeys. 

So get in the batting box, loosen up that arm, and put me in your ear holes.  But be gentle, it’s my first time.

Rundown

  • 0:00 – Intro
  • 01:19 – Kalamazoo Monkey Dog Rodeo
  • 11:25 – So you want a Korea in television programming?
  • 19:35 – Monkeys’ Florida Retirement
  • 24:47 – Closing statements

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Episode #83: Season Finale – Mafia Life Frank!

Published on June 27, 2014 by in Podcast

Featuring:  BoozeBelascoDr. P
Producer: Booze, Belasco, Dr. P

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Welcome to our Season Finale!*

Meet Frank. Frank is an Italian gentleman who pretends to be in the Mafia. He rides a mobility scooter and is, we discovered, a bit deaf. Frank is also a massive Idiot of Facebook and, if you’re a very lucky lady, he’ll send you a picture of his penis.

Usually, we don’t encourage interaction with the Idiots. We frown upon Catfishing, Dogbowling, Fish Tanking AND Mudsharking. This time, though… things got a bit out of hand.  Frank ended up on the show.

Except that Frank thinks he’s being interviewed live by a New Zealand radio station. I wonder how he got that idea?

In our special Season Finale News Round, we meet a Chinese Chinadecorator who put something somewhere it shouldn’t have gone, a man who REALLY loves pool floats (again), and we ask if it’s ever okay to give a woman a great big kick up the arse.

Our Agony Aunt Bane off of Batman is still searching for gainful employment after not getting a part in the Superman Vs Batman movie. This week he’s looking after mutated kittens in Iraq, where he meets some very exuberant young gentlemen with fireworks.

There’s some personal hygiene advice for the BDSM community, and we ask Should Belasco Watch This Film? Hopefully for the last time ever.

Oh, and… Spoiler Alert… one of us dies.

Did we mention this is our Season Finale?

So stick this in your ear, and remember… everybody wants to be a gangster until a gangster walks in the room. Apparently.

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Episode #82: Booze Invades Paris

Published on June 13, 2014 by in Podcast

Featuring:  BoozeBelascoDr. P
Producer: Booze, Belasco, Dr. P

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In this episode we make up for the lack of monkeys in the previous episode with two monkey stories. Actually, there are three monkey stories if you count Booze’s recent trip to that primate house known as France. Dr. P will introduce us to two warring factions that will make you hope for their mutually assured destruction. No, not France and Belgium, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying the segment.

Later, the SFJ Podcast moves to vanquish one of it’s own enemies. Before the SFJ Podcast, there was the SFJ Message Board with a whole host of supervillains. This particular villain was insidious and determined to hang around like cancer, but not as funny.

Last, but definitely not least, we meet Frank (aka: Frankie, Friendzone Frank, Frankie the Mobster, Frankie the Rascal, Hey Asshole, and That Goomba in New Jersey). We didn’t think it was possible for an Idiot of Facebook to come in and fill the gap left by Duct Tape Lisa so completely, but Frank has wedged himself in there real good.

All this and more awaits you in this longer-than-average edition of the podcast.

Please stick it in your ears and share it with a friend.

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Episode #81: Toilet Talk

Published on May 30, 2014 by in Podcast

Featuring:  BoozeBelascoDr. P
Producer: Belasco, Dr. P

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It happens to all of us. You’re out and suddenly you feel the urgent need to relieve yourself.

For some people, that means venturing into the heart of darkness known as the public restroom. For others, it means dropping trou and leaving a present on a neighbor’s driveway.

In this episode we’ll meet both types of people. Ryan the Germaphobe teaches us how to use the public restroom like a maniac. Meanwhile a different maniac is going around Houston pooping on resident’s lawns.  And, because we go deeper than all the other news outlets, we’ll have an exclusive interview with an individual who was once an accessory to serial pooping.

Additionally, we’ll meet some good ole’ fashioned World War 2 cosplayers, some lovely ladies decide to relieve a different kind of urge in public for charity, and we learn how they handle being “catfished” in the Philippines. Hint: not very well.

So, please take this exciting and educational edition of the SFJ podcast and stick it where it belongs.

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Check out Ryan Durney’s “Birds of Lore” at Amazon ( http://bit.ly/birdsoflore )

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Episode #80: K.I.T.T.A.R.D.S.™

Published on May 16, 2014 by in Podcast

Featuring:  BoozeBelascoDr. P
Producer: Booze, Dr. P

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Cats. Cats! CATS!

That’s right, listeners, we’ve finally given up and decided to give you what everybody on the Inter(net) really wants. Cats.

These aren’t just normal cats, though. These little guys are special. REAL special. They’re Kittards™.

Don’t worry, we’ve still got our usual monkey stuff for ya’. In fact we have a recently declassified exclusive on World War 2 monkeys tunneling out of a Prisoner of War camp. Our favorite Idiot of Facebook tells us how she calls hospitals around the country to ask for the weather forecast. But, is she as dumb as our brand new Idiots of YouTube? You decide.

Meanwhile, Professor Stephen Hawking gets jiggy with it, a young boy is disappointingly shot in the head only once, and a Chinese Chinaman’s trousers fly off as he’s accidentally blown into the stratosphere.

Oh, and one of us eats some herbal confectionary sent in by a listener. What could possibly go wrong?

So stick this in your ear and remember what Harrison Ford so nearly said… It ain’t the size of the candy bar, honey. It’s the dosage.

This show was proudly sponsored by The Venice Cookie Company and Darik Datta’s Kittard™ Ranch.

But still not Audible. Bastards.

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