Listen to the current show: Episode #102 - Southbound & Down 

Episode #102: Southbound & Down

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze, Beardo Whaaaaaat’s up, my cotton pickin’ honkies? Beardo’s banjo bits are finally appropriate, as we journey down South to check out Chuck Turtleman’s homeland. Join us, dagnabbit, as we delve into the divisive dilemma of the confederate flag, and learn how to drawl like true sons of the South with Steel Magnolias accent coach Professor David Alan Stern. Along the way, we’ll answer all the big questions. What is the secret meaning behind the numbers on the General Lee? What 1970’s BBC sitcom star flew to Arizona to have sex with…

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Episode #101: Angels in Our Classrooms – An SFJ Special Report

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze, Beardo All Banjo Stunts performed by Beardo In this very special 101st episode of SFJ, we dig deep into the disturbing and worrying issue of student/teacher affairs, and bring you the hard-hitting facts and analysis you’ve come to expect. Yes, it’s an SFJ Special Report on #Angels in our Classrooms! Professor Turtleman takes up the newscopter, and introduces us to one of the world’s sexiest international monkeys (according to social media users in Japanese Chinaland). Chuck also calls into question the pretend rapeability of a 43-year-old woman, whose fitness watch torpedoed…

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Episode #100: Taylor Swift’s Armpits

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze Crack open the champagne and festively dye your armpit hair, it’s SFJ 100! Or, 177. On this special centennial episode, Booze nostalgically remembers the hairy pits of yesteryear’s Europeans, and yearns for a dwarf worthy of his love. We learn the altitude of Chuck Turtleman’s navel, and then visit with Professor David Alan Stern; the accent guru, who teaches us all how to talk like a fair dinkum Aussie. And the show gets really disruptive when we are forced to examine whether our weekly Franks are bully or cheeky (they’re cheeky).…

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Episode #99: Chuck’s Internet Date – Live!

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze Whaaaaaaaat’s up, my lovebirds? In this special romance-themed episode, Chuck Turtleman goes on an internet date with an internet lady that he’s never met before, and records it all for your listening pleasure. Seemingly on some equipment that Edison threw out for sounding a bit rubbish. Booze brings us the tale of a scantily-clad love meltdown in the crazy world of R&B, and we hear about two angels dispensing no-questions-asked guilt free love as we take to the sky for the News Round. One of the angels is very fond of…

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Episode #98: Jesus the Monkey!

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze In this international, action-packed episode we have a very special guest from down under, Beardo!  We start the show off getting the long-awaited global perspective on Korean Chinaleader Kim Jong Il, Jr’s newest execution method.  Professor Chuck Turtleman is Internet dating, and tells us all about his adventures with the fairer sex in Asheville, NC (home of Wackadoo’s comedy club).  Beardo gives us a live reading of his True Stories of Australian History, and it involves sex, animals, and sex with animals -which we learn is a favorite scandal with the…

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Episode #97: What’s Up, My Honkies

Featuring:  Booze, Belasco, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze, Belasco Let’s clear up a bit of listener confusion. Contrary to popular belief, Mr Turtleman is not retiring from the podcast. He’s just being a crazy maverick & refusing to play by the rules like Belasco & Booze & all you other lame-O squares do. He still brings us the News Round, though. But now he does it whilst chewing bubble gum, turning his hat backwards & wearing blue jeans & white sneakers. This week, we meet a Brazilian bodybuilder who asks “Do you even inject, bro?” & a Canadian Chinaman who…

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Episode #96: Life Improving Life Hacks

Featuring:  Booze, Belasco, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze, Belasco We have good news and bad news. First the bad news: a beloved part of our long-running podcast is retiring as of this show. The decision is final and only an enormous groundswell of positive iTunes reviews and word-of-mouth promotion will change it. The good news: Little Caesar is back and she’s still whining on Facebook. We have all the juicy details. Also, we’ll hear about a pain-reliever commercial that’s giving Booze a headache. Belasco bemoans the unfairness of every other country in the world getting “Avengers: Age of Ultron” before the United States. Turtleman shares a few life-hacks that may just get you off the couch and living fully once again, but probably not. Our Idiots of Facebook segment asks…

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Episode #95: Live frine the Golding Nuegt!

Featuring:  Booze, Belasco, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Booze, Chuck Turtleman In episode #95 we learn the history of Las Vegas’ legendary Golding Nuegt. All the big names played there – Elvis, Ted Nugent, and now SFJ! It’s an honor to be a part of its storied history. Turtleman’s News Round introduces us to Lee and we hear about his run-in with a home-made tattoo gun.  Spoiler Alert: the tattoo gun wins.  Also not expected to fare well, a Russian man who is allowing his head to be transplanted onto another body. We’ll visit with Beardo and learn another True Story from Australian History about “the worst thing ever produced.” Several Idiots of Facebook check-in including Blurry Shirley, Lisa <bleep>, and multiple Franks being creepier than a man with a transplanted head.  Also,…

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Episode #93: Angelo!

Featuring:  Booze, Belasco, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Booze, Chuck Turtleman In our 93rd full installment, we meet hunky beefcake Internet sensation Angelo! He was in Menudeo, but now he’s all grown up and, lucky for us, hasn’t given up his love for music! He’s got the body of the hulk and the voice of Stefano. Later, we discuss the various classifications of little people, have some R&B news with Booze, discuss Turtleman’s stepmom’s childhood poodle, and Belasco tells us all about Han Solo’s latest plane crash. And, you’ll want to buckle-up because our news copter takes us to exotic places like Rome and Applebee’s. We have a very special Idiots of Facebook. Remember the hunky beefcake Angelo? Well, he has very interesting fans on Facebook. And, wow, are they idiots! As usual,…

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Episode #92: Spocktor Who

Featuring:  Booze, Belasco, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Chuck Turtleman Art by: Chimera-Stormhawk (http://chimaera-stormhawk.deviantart.com/) What’s up, my honkies! Chuck Turtleman here to tell you all about Episode 92 of the SFJ podcast. First, I regale the listeners with a story of being stabbed by turtle poo, Belasco is excited about the upcoming Settlers vs. Cthulhu movie, and Booze tells us why Belgium is Shit. I explain how to outpoint a mollusk then a pachyderm in the boxing ring, and we all learn some fascinating Australian History. The News Round Copter is stuck over North Korea this week, but we don’t come away without a slogan. And on this week’s Idiots of Facebook, instead of delving deep into the trials and tribulations of one idiot, we hit on highlights of several of them to…

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Episode #91: Beardo!

Featuring:  Booze, Belasco, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze, Belasco There are a lot of beards about these days. And, even though you’d think they’d be a terrible health and safety risk around all those barbecues and snakes, they’ve even got them in Australia now. Especially the men. This week,  SFJ’s hirsute antipodean correspondent Beardo brings us the first of his True Stories from Australian History. Don’t worry, there’s a monkey in it. In the News Round, we hear about some pretend PVC police lady preposterousness in a Brazilian women’s prison and a Doom Metal “singer” who goes asphalt surfing without a board.  We’ll re-visit our Prison Pen Pals to see if Booze will finally pick one with a pronounceable name. Later, our Idiots of Facebook segment takes us into the…

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Episode #90 – Taken 3: The Takenest

Featuring:  Dr. P, Booze, Belasco Producer: Dr. P, Booze, Belasco In this action-packed episode we reluctantly agree to watch Taken 3, so you don’t have to. It’s got plot holes you could drive a truckload of Albanians through, and not only does nobody actually get Taken this time, it hasn’t even got that Sikh shopkeeper dude from the first one in it. Listen and find out whether we liked it! We tour a Fleshlight factory with a lovely Czech pornography lady called Wageena, don our dungarees to wrestle a gigantic pig in Texas with some very manly men, then take to the mean streets of New Delhi with our slingshots to protect the President of the United States. We won’t spoil it and say what we were protecting him from, but they’re…

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