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Episode #115: The Happy New Chinese Chinayear of the Chinese Chinamonkey

Featuring: Booze (rat), Chuck Turtleman (cock), and Beardo (ox) 新年快乐, my honkies! That’s right, the Happy New ChinaYear is upon us, and this time around, for the first time in the history of the SFJ podcast, it’s the Happy New Chinese Year of the Chinese Chinamonkey! In keeping with this extremely auspicious occasion, we bring you this very special episode of the Sweet Feathery Jesus Podcast, which is focused on all things Chinesey and monkeyish. In retaliation for the travesty that was Tiptoes, Booze and Beardo make Chuck Turtleman and his Internet Lady watch a beloved TV Japanese Chinashow from…

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Episode #114: A Very Special Dwarf Special

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Booze, Beardo, ChuckTurtleman Whaaaaaat’s up, my diminutive honkies? On this, very special little episode, we dissect the 2003 dwarf film, Tiptoes, starring Matthew Mahogany and Gary Old Man. Is this straight-to-DVD movie a stunning tour-de-force of cinematic brilliance, or a steaming abortion of a film? The answer probably won’t surprise you. Professor Turtleman takes up his miniature news copter and brings us four not-so-tall tales, all of which feature humans of less than regular stature. Having found a dwarf for Booze on a previous episode, we check in with Jemma Suicide and see what…

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Episode #113: Beardo Presents: SFJ Cabaret: The Podcast!

Featuring:  Belasco, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Beardo Haaaaaaappy New Years, my honkies! In this very special episode, Beardo takes us on a stroll down memory lane, and curates a collection of the best ever SFJ original songs. Remember when Lisa Bleepdo and Kenny Powers were reunited and it felt so good? Beardo remembers. Remember when Doctor Peay (RIP) took to the skies in his world-famous News Scooter (due to budget cuts)? Beardo remembers. Remember when a Chinese Chinaman’s Chinapants got blown off by an exploding tractor tyre? Beardo Remembers. All that, some KITTARDS, some casual racism and the monkey god…

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Episode #112: A Very North Korean Christmas

Featuring:  Belasco, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Booze, Beardo, Turtleman   Meeeeeerry Christmas, my ho ho honkies! Ever wondered what Christmas is like in the Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea? Of course you have. Well, wonder no more. On this very special festive edition of Sweet Feathery Jesus, we talk, live via satellite, to an undercover correspondent embedded behind the Bamboo Curtain! But not before we pay a musical tribute to our favourite Idiot of Facebook, Turtleman takes to the snowy skies in his Holiday Copter, Beardo embraces feminism & Booze is poisoned live on the podcast. Also making our Yuletide gay is our…

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Episode #111: On the Wagon Train! (i.e., there’s no Booze. Get it?)

Featuring:  Belasco, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Beardo, Turtleman     Whaaaaaat’s up, my honkies? Grab your 20-sided dice, dust off your wizard cloak, and invite your three friends to your mom’s basement, because Belasco, king of the #Belascopaths, is back! Chuck has still been playing his Solvin’ Crimes* game, and with the help of the best voice actor in SFJ history, he takes us on a thrilling ride through his latest case! Despite some resistance, Chuck takes up the copter for the News Round, and brings us stories of a gorgeous gator-grappling gal and some handy-capable Chinese Chinapeople. Also, we…

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Episode #110: Criminal Case – The Podcast!

(CORRECTED) Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Beardo, Turtleman, Booze Waaaaaatson up, my honkies??? Strap a deerstalker on your bonce and prepare yourself a nice juicy seven percent solution, it’s time for an all-new, very special, three pipe episode of Sweet Feathery Jesus! Chuck has a new favorite smartphone-based video game, which apparently involves the widespread application of hand lotion, and criminal suspects of a bizarrely uniform range of heights. Oi Me Colon (Mum, Try Up!) is thankfully no more, but Booze has found a replacement, as SFJ now owns the exclusive audio podcast serialization rights to a brand-new biography of a current, modern-day superstar actress.…

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Episode #109: Halloween (& Guy Fawkes Night) Special!

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Beardo, Turtleman, Booze   Whaaaaaat’s up, my haunted Halloween honkies?! On this very special spooooky Sweet Feathery Jesus, we have themed the ENTIRE episode in accordance with Halloween and/or Guy Fawkes Night (but not Bunyip Day). We learn about the history of Booze’s dumb country’s dumb holiday traditions, and why it is absolutely necessary to burn catholics to death. Beardo brings us a very spooooky slice of True Australian History, and Chuck takes up the News Copter to bring us some truly terrifying news stories, except that one of them isn’t terrifying in the slightest. Booze inflicts a very spooooky episode of Oi Me Colon (‘Mum, Try Up!’) upon his innocent and long-suffering co-hosts, and we check in with Idiot of Facebook Duct Tape Lisa,…

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Episode #108: Shanglefrangle! (Schadenfreude!)

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Beardo, Turtleman, Booze   حالتون چطوره؟ (Haletun chetore), my honkies? That’s the Iranian ChinaLanguage, for all you Anglo-/Euro-/Amerigo-centric monoglots. In this very special episode of SFJ, the S stands for Shanglefrangle, also known as schadenfreude. Without realising it until after the recording, this week the lads indulged in a real ShangleFest of Frangelic proportions. From the transgendered to the transabled, from a comatose Swiss Spaniard to an unfortunate Danish zoo animal, from the city of Iran to the television screens of South ChinaKorea, you’ll laugh until you join us for eternity in Satan’s embrace. That, a healthy dose of casual racism and over 450 pounds of Friendzone Frank, in this very special episode of the Sweet Feathery Jesus Podcast. So fire up the Shanglefrangle alarm…

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Episode #107: Australian Hijack!

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Beardo, Turtleman, Booze   Hi there friends, it’s me, Beardo. In this very special (and your favourite) episode of the Sweet Feathery Jesus podcast, the person in control is me, Beardo. That’s right, your favourite Australian/Clevelander, Beardo, has hijacked SFJ. But don’t worry, those other two guys are on it too. In this episode, we discuss my sweet cephalopodic tattoos, and Booze takes us to the far East, where Chuck and I have to tell the difference between President Obama and his Chinese ChinaLookalike. While in the Asian ChinaRegions, we are also forced to experience another episode of Oi Me Co-Lon by the tyrannical and megalomaniac British member of the SFJ team. Professor Chuck Turtleman is granted permission to launch his News Copter, and he…

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Episode #106: World’s Biggest Dick!

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Booze, Beardo, Turtleman   Tempers fray on the podcast this week, as suspiciously “refreshed” sounding technophobe Chuck Turtleman has trouble (again) with his recording set-up, and Booze and Beardo have to painstakingly talk him through troubleshooting it. Step by step. Over the phone. Between three different continents. For over an hour. Which was a bit like trying to get a chimpanzee to fix Apollo 13. This tension carries over into the show, and two beloved SFJ segments are abandoned for good. Chuck takes up the copter (without asking for permission) for the News Round, in which a hippy from Hawaii has bollocks for brains and a dolphin as a midwife, and Beardo’s homeland is sprouting up messiahs left, right and center. We also examine…

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Episode #105: The Ed for President!

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Booze, Beardo, Turtleman Whaaaaaaaat’s up my honkies? On this fortnightly injection of podcast brilliance right into your main-vein, we finally welcome back recurring guest, reformed bank robber and listener favorite, The Ed! Move over, Deez Nuts, because The Ed is all fired up, and ready to forge a new government of The Ed, for The Ed, and by The Ed. Chuck takes the copter up for the News Round, and brings us a story from Belasco’s back yard, about a wizard who is being rather careless with his (or her?) raw meat. Also, this week’s Idiots of Facebook is all about Chuck Turtleman’s favorite “thing” on the internet: Duct Tape Lisa. Grab your socks and prepare for the #Shanglefrangle alert, this one’s a doozy!…

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Episode #104: England is Rubbish

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman Producer: Booze, Beardo, Turtleman   Whaaaat’s up, me old China plates? Put another whelk on the Barbie(cue) as our Australian correspondent Beardo returns to insult the country his criminal forefathers were exiled from years ago, for crimes too trivial to bother hanging them for. He starts with a report on England’s lamest sports, most of which seem to have been invented to give the aristocracy an excuse to fondle each other’s bottoms. There’s more England bashing in the News Round, as Prince Harry saves animals by murdering them, and we find out that Booze is paying to keep a big fat lady in skinny men and Xboxes.  It’s not all route one, lowest common denominator xenophobia, though.  We also give you our review of HBO’s…

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